CHICOPEE, Massachusetts – (Satire News) – The age-old saying that just when you think you’ve seen and heard it all, certainly applies here.
Chicopee’s Channel 77 Stalker News, reports that a couple, who has only been married for 7 years, has revealed to the TV station that they engage in what has got to be one of the most unusual foreplays in the world of coital habitation (screwing).
Norm and Carla Figginfeeker, who are both 29, recently came out and revealed their astoundingly way-out-there, pre-sex (foreplay) exercise.
Carla commented that, being a receptionist for a urologist, she has always been around yellow Post-It-Notes.
She said that one day, after a night of drinking, cavorting, and doing a bit of Peruvian Marching Dust (cocaine) her and Norm decided to spice up their boinking session.
Mrs. Figginfeeker, who is an avowed nymphomaniac, suddenly grabbed a pad of yellow Post-It notes and began attaching them to her face, neck, chest, arms and eventually to her tits, her thighs, her ass, and her hooha (cunt).
Needless to say, Norm was a bit surprised, or as he put it, he was shocked out of his gourd wondering what the fuck Carla was doing.
He said that she told him that she had been fantasizing about being Post-It-Noted for the past 8 months.
She asked Norm to write on each one of her Post-It-Notes, which she said gave her the most sensational orgasms that she had ever had, even better than when she dated a retired NBA basketball player six-months before marrying Norm.
SIDENOTE: Norm is happy. Carla is happy. And the two say that they are seriously thinking of possibly one day taking it to the next level; Duct Tape.