WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – In the interest of “Freedom of Information” the FBI has had to legally release some info that Trump and his ass-kissing friends have tried for three years to suppress.
An unnamed spokesperson for the FBI, told the news media that according to text messages, phone records, Instagrams, and a charcoal drawing, the former occupant of the White House, namely "Don the Con" Trump did some big time dilly-dallying with some gal pals in the most famous house in the nation, the White House, as in THE White House.
Trump of course has denied it (just like he denies every horrible thing he has actually done), but as they say photos don’t lie, phone messages don’t fib, text messages don’t misrepresent the truth, and charcoal drawing are right-on-the-money.
Meanwhile Melania has commented on the whole sordid matter by saying, “Ju see, dees ease dee berry reason why I hate dee orange prick wiff eburry sexual hormone in my sexy, luchus, be best, body.”
