WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The 81st Annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally is underway and President Biden is highly upset.
White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki informed the news media that last year 461,307 bikers attended the rally and Fox News reported that at least 178,400 contacted the dreaded Trumpapalooza Virus and took it back to their home towns.
This year experts are predicting that over 700,000 bikers from every state in the nation, Canada, Mexico, and 17 other foreign countries will descend on the little town of Sturgis, South Dakota, which other than the motorcycle rally, is famous for the amount of yellow snow seen in the winter months.
One long time biker, Reggie "The Stud" Anfernelli, 74, who has been to the Sturgis rally for the past 53 years was asked if he’s afraid of catching the Delta Dawn Virus.
He replied that he isn’t and added that he wears 2 T-shirts, 2 pairs of boxer shorts, and he also wears a condom on his peter (dick) 24/7.
A biker mama, who said her name was Katy Kardashian, no relation to the big-butted California Kardashians, told reporters that ever since last year, she has stopped having her period and she is definitely not sick.
Katy noted that the only thing that is bothering her a little bit is that since attending last year's bike rally she has developed an an undescended labia majora.
Meanwhile President Biden has informed VP Harris that he has about 147 undercover federal agents at the rally, who will be taking photos, videos, and making charcoal drawings of everyone in attendance.
POTUS stated that he will then have a bi-partisan Congressional Committee study the info and those who attended the bike rally will be fined $7,000.