Newlywed Bride Lands On Her Sexy Ass After Slipping On Rice

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 22 June 2021

image for Newlywed Bride Lands On Her Sexy Ass After Slipping On Rice
Sasha took a nasty fall, but her new husband Louie said he checked her out real, real good and said everything looks GREAT!

BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – Former New York Giants cheerleader Sasha Lippowitz, 29, got married to the man of her dreams, Coney Island hot dog vendor, Louie “Wassup” Tellatini, 27.

The two originally met at the Ice Rink at Rockefeller Center. Sasha was just learning how to ice skate, when she accidentally ran into Louie, hitting him with her purse on his privates.

Louie, being ever the practical joker, told the hot-looking Sasha that he was probably going to require some mouth-to-mouth.

Sasha, having a bit of a sense of humor herself, told him that she was going to go get Guido, the skating rink's 6-foot-4-inch, 275 pound security guard, and that she would be right back.

At that point their eyes met and the Johnny Rivers song, “Slow Dancing,” started playing over the skating rink speaker.

The two got up, dusted off the ice, and started slow dancing and swaying to the music.

The happy, good-looking horny couple started dating and within 36 hours Louie had gotten into Sasha's pants, and the two knew right then and there that they were going to be intertwined forever.

Louie has a cousin who works at Ticketmaster, so he would hook him up with free tickets to the Mets, the Jets, and the Nets games.

Four months after they met, they got married at Brooklyn’s Our Lady of The Wondrous Wonderment Church.

Music was provided by Hanna Dabanana and Her Magic Organ.

Unfortunately, as the couple was exiting the church, Sasha slipped on some rice, landing on her gorgeously sexy ass, as the best man described it.

Louie happily noted, that after thoroughly inspecting Sasha's stunning body, he noticed a slight bruise on her left elbow, but he was thrilled to say that all of her intimate body parts were A-OK and good to go for the honeymoon night sexcapades.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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