NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – According to Rumorland News, the former first lady, Melania Trump, 51, reveals lots of embarrassing details about her husband, in her upcoming tell-all book titled, “No One Knows Donaldo Like I Do – The Damn Truth About Donald Johnny Trump."
Right off the bat in the first paragraph of chapter one, she reveals that his orange complexion is the result of him eating a dozen carrots before going to bed each and every night.
She noted that he also colors in three different coloring books at bedtime in order to get rid of his ever-present stress, anger, and hatred.
Melly, as her Donaldo calls her, also sleeps with a G.I. Joe doll to remind him of how lucky he was to have gotten 5 bone spur deferments during the Vietnam War.
She said that he demands loyalty, but not once in his 74 years, has he ever given it to anyone; except of course to his 6-foot Barbie doll, Ivanka.
Melania revealed that even his two ex-wives, Ivanna and Marla have said that if loyalty were sand, Donnie wouldn’t even have enough to make a sand castle for a flea.
Trump's third wife, pointed out that now he is furious at Fox News, because it has finally grown some balls and has now adopted the novel idea of finally mentioning most of his 20,000 lies.
A White House insider recently said that there are only five things that the twice impeached, one-term liar does not hate; Big Macs, Ivanka, buckets of KFC chicken, Hope Hicks, and himself.