WEST HOLLYWOD – (Satire News) – British comedian Ricky Gervais, a man who has insulted presidents, popes, and pop stars commented to Anderson Cooper that he loves the queen, but suggested that at the up-there age of 95, she should seriously consider retiring while she is still on top.
When asked by Cooper just exactly what he meant by that remark, the unfiltered comedian replied, right now her majesty has an approval rating of 71% in the United Kingdom.
He noted that due to some behind-the-scene scandals her approval rating has been inching ever downward.
What scandals? Gervais was asked.
The hard-hitting comic took two swigs out of his beer bottle and replied, “The Imported Crumpet Scandal” and The Simon Cowell – Piers Morgan Scandal” to name just two.”
Cooper remarked that he had heard about the counterfeit crumpets that had been shipped in from Laos, but he had not heard about the Cowell-Morgan Scandal.
Gervais pointed out that every Thursday night Simon and Piers meet with Queen Elizabeth II, in Buckingham Palace’s The Monty Python Flying Circus Commemorative Room and play several games of Texas Hold ‘Em Poker.
Brits have no problem with the widowed queen having some fun, but they do not like the idea that she usually ends up losing an average of $290 (U.S.), which is equivalent to 200 British pounds.
When Prime Minister Boris Johnson found out, he personally phoned Cowell and Morgan and told them that they are forbidden from ever entering Buckingham Palace again.
Piers said that he and Simon have Queen Elizabeth’s written permission to visit Buck House (as Gervais calls it) anytime they bloody, bloomin’ want.
Ricky then commented that the blonde mop-haired bloke really needs to concern himself with London’s worsening tea shortage.