Meghan Markle Says Queen Tried To Flatten Her In A JCB

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 21 March 2021

image for Meghan Markle Says Queen Tried To Flatten Her In A JCB
The story seems unlikely, but why would she make it up?

There was another stunning revelation in the Meghan Markle v. British Royal Family saga yesterday, when the wife of Prince Harry tweeted that, late last year, at the royal estate in Balmoral, the Queen tried to make Markle pancake-shaped, by driving over her in a JCB.

The JCB is a piece of construction equipment that looks a bit like a tank with a cab on top, and which has a nice digger/scooper on the end of a long 'arm' which makes it ideal for excavation and flattening people.

They are often yellow.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex were at Balmoral to discuss their future roles in the Royal Family. At some stage in the meeting, the Queen went over to the window, and stood surveying the scene outside.

Prince Philip was having a luxury carport built for his Land Rover.

The Queen said:

"Let's go and have a look at the diggers!"

Meghan said that, "in that instant" she knew, without any shadow of a doubt, she had been earmarked for annihilation.

She refused to go outside, claiming she had once had nightmares about being "chased by a digger", and that she had an intense dislike for mud.

One royal-watcher said:

"She may have a dislike for mud, but she seems to enjoy slinging it!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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