DENVER – (Satire News) – The mayor of Denver, the Mile High City, has just confirmed that there has been a definite increase in the number of Unidentified Flying Object sightings, just since the first of the year.
The mayor told members of the media that the average for the past three years had been 307 sightings per year.
He then noted that, so far, in just 70 days, the 2021 number has been 1,928.
When asked by Taffeta Kixx with BuzzFuzz what he attributed the tremendous increase to, the mayor said he attributed it solely to the fantastic increase in marijuana consumption.
When asked to explain, he replied, “It’s really simple math. The more Denver citizens smoke weed, the more UFOs they ‘think’ they see up in the Colorado sky."
He added that, ever since some of the fast food restaurants started adding salt shakers filled with marijuana seeds to their condiment trays, every eatery has increased in business by as much as sevenfold.
One popular pizza place, The Pizza Princess, has even added three extra drive-thru windows, and are now open 24/7.
Meanwhile, 87-year-old lifelong pot smoker and part-time Denver resident, Willie Nelson, told BuzzFuzz that he is planning on buying four marijuana stores in the downtown area.
When asked, Nelson replied that he personally sees an average of 8 UFOs a night, most of them in the privacy of his own bedroom.