BALTIMORE – (Satire News) – President Biden has finally made his decision on the minimum wage increase.
The President remarked that he’s decided to raise it from $7.25 an hour to $75 an hour.
A reporter for Fox News said that it was way too much. Biden took off his aviator glasses, and said, “Look here, Jack, you and your fellow losers at Fox News had better get it through y’alls friggin heads that your King Donaldo has been dethroned.”
He noted that, of all the world's 196 countries, the USA ranks 47th in the minimum wage department. He said that he wants to raise it to $75, so millions of poor people will now become middle class.
Biden said he'd had you-know-who exiled to Florida, and promised he'd fine him if he ever left the state without written permission.
POTUS then added if the inciter-in-chief violated his directive, he'd have him arrested, shackled in chains, and sent down to to Guantanemera Prison in Cuba.”
CNN’s Jim Acosta remarked, “Ahhh, Mr. President, it’s Guantanamo Prison, sir.”
“That’s what I said, Jack. Guantanemera, like the song.”
And, on that note, the 46th president turned to the White House Press Corps and said, “Take care, Jacks and Jackettes, and stay away from those gosh darn spreader beaches.”