HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Tahiti Zeppelin, with Hollywood Hors D’oeuvres, said that the finale of this year's “The Voice” was the best ever, and it surprised millions of the show's fans.
The night’s first performer was 15-year-old Carter Rubin, who sang the song “Lola” by the Kinks. He was dressed in a butterscotch-colored suit and looked like a midget NBA coach.
Next up was Desz who sang “Mrs Robinson”. For some reason known only to her, she sang dressed in a Pilgrim/Amish type outfit, complete with Quaker Oats hat.
Zepp added that she did not know what that thing on her head was, but it looked like it probably weighed 14 pounds.
The next singer was Ian Flanigan, who sang the 1950s song, “Tequila”, which only has one word. Tahiti noted that the reason for the one-word song was because Ian had a real bad sore throat.
Singer number four was Jim Ranger, who sang the classic country song, “Well Butter My Butt and Call Me a Biscuit”
For some reason, Jim wore the exact same hat that Desz had worn in her performance. He had on a dark suit and Blake Shelton remarked that he looked like an Amish undertaker.
Jim Holliday was the last performer of the season's finale. He has an amazing 5-octave range, and can sing higher than any woman on the planet.
Holliday, who sounds a lot like Diana Ross of the Supremes, sang a song by Ross titled “Cheat on Me Punk, Say Bye To Your Junk”.
SPOILER ALERT: The winner of the 19th season of “The Voice” was Carter Rubin, who surprised millions of the show's viewers, due to his only being 15. He won a trip for three to Machu Picchu, Peru, plus a 2021 Kia Telluride, and a date with Sofia Vergara.