HOLLYWOOD – (Entertainment Satire) – In what pundits are billing as the greatest fiasco television mess since The Price is Right Pricing Scandal of 1961, the producers have issued a wholehearted apology.
Chief Executive Producer Bernardo J. Capitola has informed the entertainment media that, after conducting a thorough investigation, “The Voice” has fired the cue card girl, the teleprompter guy, and one of the make-up artists.
Capitola stated that to make up for the shitstorm debacle, the show will be re-instating three of the acts that had been eliminated: Heidi Hernandez, Alexander Soup, and the Tullaloosa Triplets - Tippy, Kippy, and Nippy.
Judge Blake Shelton commented that he is not happy, and added that he’s as mad as a breeding bull with erectile dysfunction.
When asked what his beef was (no pun intended), he said that none of the three returning singers are on his team.
Meanwhile, his fellow judge and woman that Blake is sleeping with, Gwen Stefani, said that, since two of the returnees are on her team, her man just needs to shut his trap, or else he won’t be getting any nookie when they get back to his ranch.
Judge Kelly Clarkson commented that she is still too upset about her divorce to make a comment – she did say that she will soon be back on the dating scene, and gave out her cell phone number (202) 555-XXX6.