Man Couldn't Give A Fuck That Only One Person Is Following Him On Facebook

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 28 October 2020

image for Man Couldn't Give A Fuck That Only One Person Is Following Him On Facebook
He really couldn't care less

A man who joined the Facebook social media platform eight years ago, has said he "really couldn't care less", after it came to light that he has a grand total of only one person following him.

The man, originally from Hull in East Yorkshire, 57-year-old Moys Kenwood, shook his head, tutting in utter unconcern as he revealed that the name of the person that is following him:

"I go for quality, not quantity. The person that is following me is none other than an internationally-known and multi-award-winning author of several 'bestselling' books, Duncan Whitehead," he rasped, "so stick that in your pipe, and smoke it!"

Whitehead, originally from Thornton, near Blackpool, has, indeed, written several books, including one about a ladies dogwalking club, and another one 'The Reluctant Jesus' or summat like that. His career earnings from book sales are thought to be well over £150.

He denied Facebook-following Kenwood, however, saying:

"I 'friended' him, as you do, but never had any contact with him. Nor will I."

Kenwood says he has "little time" for trivia such as Facebook, and that it doesn't bother him that something the rest of the world just can't get enough of, is unavailable to him because of his distinct lack of friends.

He said:

"I couldn't give a fuck."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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