Thinking that the Marvin Hamlisch song, Nobody Does It Better, was a homage written for him, Donald Trump decided to take charge of his own 2020 Republican Convention.
What could go right?
People immediately speculated whether Melania would perform her belly dance, followed by Ivanka doing some sort of tap step with her siblings to the River Dance music, building up to a crescendo and her father’s introduction.
Trump would wander to center stage, big smile, thumb up to no one in particular, then talk for the next four days.
He’ll start, of course, with a moment of silence for the two million dead of coronavirus, caused by the negligence of Barack Obama and Joe Biden. But that’s it.
The rest will be about Donald Trump, center stage, lots of flags, a few Confederate, spotlight, sitting behind a desk, hands palm forward in a stick-up position, explaining about the good Nazis, tear-gassing protesters demanding human rights. Black lives? So what? The screwball idea that Health Care for all should be just like the Defense Department is a defense for all. Finally, the announcement that issues about a woman’s body belongs to men. So, shut up, and snivel, or you'll lose the vote and tampons!
Then roll out an impersonator, made up to look like Hillary Clinton doing a striptease, right down to a G-string and two daisies.
“Why not get Clint Eastwood to sing a song playing the banjo?”
Day two would be an exact repetition of day one, followed by day three, and on day four? He accepts the Republican Party nomination for president.
“Our ratings will be all the way out to sea, floating towards China.”
“His base will love it. It’s pure Trump!”
“Any answer from Tom Hanks?”
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