Writer of pap has go-to list of celebs to complete his daily quota

Funny story written by Mister Meaner

Monday, 10 August 2020

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Put the waste in the water, and see what happens

A writer on a satirical news and parody website has admitted that he sometimes finds it challenging to find topics to write about, and that, when this happens, he has a go-to selection of celebrities to save the day.

The writer, a frequent contributor to The Spoof, said that he enjoys writing for the site, but his main aim is to overwhelm all other writers on it, and to score as many points as possible.

He said, "At those times, I revert to writing complete and utter pap about a string of boring celebrities. The stories are absolutely worthless, serving only to make up some daily quota that I believe my fans expect. I can't let them down, you know."

The stars that he is referring to are Meghan Markle, Melania Trump, Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj, Jennifer Lopez, and Shakira.

He said, "Meghan and Melania Trump hate each other, so I hilariously turn that on its head, and have them being friendly, and sending each other at least two texts every day. It's so funny!"

That's not all. "I also combine Jennifer Lopez and Shakira together, and make insanely-funny jokes about how fast they can dance, and how sexy they are. You should see some of the outrageous jokes I make!"

"Then there's Nicki Minaj and Katy Perry. What can I say? Nicki's a singer, and Katy is pregnant! And piling weight on! What could be funnier than that?"

Others on the site, however, say this material is not funny in the least, and the effect it has on The Spoof is the literary equivalent of dumping thousands of tonnes of toxic waste into a gently-flowing country stream, every day for the rest of your life.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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