New Trump Campaign Manager Vows to Reveal A Biden Secret

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Saturday, 18 July 2020

image for New Trump Campaign Manager Vows to Reveal A Biden Secret
Old Trump campaign rally. New rally just about the same.

Yes indeed! This week's new Donald Trump campaign manager vows to reveal a Biden secret! There’s a WOW in the vow! The whole world is sitting at the edge of their collective seats in anticipation.

What could this unique secret be? Is it possible Biden’s big sister did his homework? Nah. You’d have to be certified to stoop down to that level, as well as pretty dumb, and Joe Biden isn't dumb. Biden has smarts.

Maybe Biden paid someone plenty to take his SAT Exam to get into college? Only an incompetent, lazy, rich kid with lots of money would do that. Biden wasn’t a rich kid, lazy or incompetent. We know who that was, but that isn’t a secret. Today, Trump is even too lazy to read his morning PDB or his Presidential Daily Briefing. Like what happened around the world overnight.

There's also a rumor that Trump can’t read.

Did Biden claim bone spurs to stay out of the military? Hey, that’s Trump's baby. Does Biden have an out of wedlock baby? Again, that was Trump’s baby until he married Tiffany’s mother.

What does the religious right say about that? It’s okay.

Maybe there’s a Russian pee video of Biden in the Presidential Suite of the Moscow Ritz-Carlton? Not unless they have cameras in the bathroom.

Enough!

Does Biden wear makeup? No, his tan is natural.

Why does Trump wear makeup? Isn’t he’s always out on the links playing golf?

He gets into the Oval Office once a week, and that visit just washes him out. It pales him. And so he also colors his hair! Lots of men do that. Biden just let his hair go white. Big deal.

However, it’s the girdle that Trump wears that he vows to keep a big, big secret.

“You’re fired.”

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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