Wash Your Hands If You Think Trump’s Lying

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 22 March 2020

image for Wash Your Hands If You Think Trump’s Lying
"What? I have to wash my hands?"

Day after day, when Donald Trump holds one of his press conferences, he tells at least eight to ten lies. Viewers give up, switch off their TV, and wash their hands.

Hand washing is apparently the only safety device citizens of this superpower have to fight the coronavirus. Three months into this pandemic, hand washing is it.

“Use hot water and scrub for at least twenty minutes. And don’t forget to clean under the fingernails,” says the Government Nanny.

It isn’t as though Trump was asleep at the wheel. With eyes wide open, he intentionally crashed the nation into a wall.

Trump crashed by closing down the NSC Pandemic unit, which was started by Obama after the Ebola crisis. Freaking jealous of Obama, he wanted to erase the Obama legacy out of spite: The Iran Peace Accord; The Paris Climate Initiative; Obama Healthcare. And for some weird reason, hired six working girls to pee on the bed used by the Obamas after staying at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton hotel.

“I had nothing to do with closing the pandemic office.”

Fact-checkers count 16,241 false or misleading statements by Trump since entering office.

False or misleading statements? Nice way of saying, “Liar, liar, Trump's pants are on fire.”

However, Trump does lie. Remember his crowd size? Harmless, but embarrassing for a grown man to lie about the size. His taxes were being audited? More lies, but what’s he got to hide?

“Melania is upstairs right now working on her sewing machine, running up face masks for the Red Cross. And Ivanka is rolling bandages. Donald Jr. and Eric are converting their rifles into ventilators, and I’m adding my golf clubs.”

Friday, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow suggested networks not televise his press conference, as they are full of lies. Someone else mentioned the freedom of speech.

Fella, no one can yell FIRE in a crowded movie theatre. Trump should not be allowed to broadcast lies about a pandemic that’s killing people because of his continued failure of leadership.

In the meantime, wash your hands for twenty minutes, and don’t forget to clean under the fingernails.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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