Man Breaks Record By Writing Story In Only Four Minutes

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 15 April 2020

image for Man Breaks Record By Writing Story In Only Four Minutes
In the time it takes to boil an egg (if you boil your eggs for 4 minutes)

A man has revealed how he managed to smash the world record for conceiving, creating, writing, and publishing a story of no particular import on a satirical news website, this morning.

Myke Woodson, 56, claims he took just four minutes - or thereabouts - to think up, type out, and send the story live, in what's been seen as an absolute, and unmitigated waste of 240 seconds.

It's also unprecedented. The previous record had been five minutes.

The incident occurred just now, after he had logged-on to TheSpoof.com, a site which was already renowned for material that has been given the tiniest amounts of time necessary to cobble together sentences using English words, and presents the most ludicrous situations with child-like humor and the flimsiest attention to grammar and punctuation.

The site employs a points system which rewards, not writing skill or the perceived excellence of material published, but the number of times a particular piece of dirt has been clicked upon - often by internet users having mistaken the headline for something they were interested in.

It's all a bit of fun.

Despite this, some on the site are bitter.

Said Woodson:

"I just logged-on, went into the forum, and saw that the constant and unceasing mithering was continuing unabated, so I thought "I know!", and wrote this gubbins you are reading."

The Guinness Book of Records has not been notified.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more