Man Concerned Over Watermelon Seed He Swallowed

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 29 March 2020

image for Man Concerned Over Watermelon Seed He Swallowed
Could it happen?

A man who inadvertently swallowed a watermelon seed last night, has said he is rather concerned over what might happen next.

The incident happened around 9:30pm, when Moys Kenwood, 56, was sitting in front of the TV with his family, all watching some crappy, but somehow 'infectious', Thai game show, whilst tucking into a plate of watermelon chunks.

Not really concentrating what he was doing, he grabbed a juicy-looking chunk, and shoved it into his mouth. As the succulent red flesh dissolved on his palate, and the juice ran between his teeth, a hitherto-unnoticed seed slipped stealthily throatward, and disappeared down his gullet.

Kenwood felt it, and immediately started to worry.

What if it should find a soft spot in his stomach where it could germinate? It might start to grow, and, fed by other gastric juices, and the heat generated in the hot climate, might balloon to whopping proportions inside him.

His mind flashed him an image of John Hurt.

He told himself that that was just Science Fiction, but still he couldn't relax. He imagined himself as the first pregnant man, with a baby watermelon slowly developing in his stomach, growing bigger each and every day, making it less and less likely that he would eventually be able to stretch his arsehole around it, and 'give birth'.

Later, after he had tossed and turned in bed for a couple of hours, his wife told him:

"Don't worry about it so much. It'll come out when you take a dump."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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