The Dixie Chicks Are Back and They’re As Bitter As Ever

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 15 March 2020

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Dixie Chicks lead singer Natalie Maines is 45, but she says that with all the Trump BS she feels 75.

NEW YORK CITY - After being out of the musical limelight for 14 years, the Dixie Chicks have returned. They were rehearsing for an appearance on The Late Night Show with Stephen Colbert.

The three women sat down for an interview with Ichabod Fernandez of The Vox Populi News Agency. Right off the bat, Fernandez noted that the three girls were stressed out, and as bitter as ever.

Lead singer, Natalie Maines, who is known as the ‘short one’, stated that she is still quite angry, and is oh, so ready to start hurling invectives at 'Old Baby Fingers.'

When asked if she learned her lesson about not mixing music with politics, she sat up in her chair and said that the only thing she learned is that country fans will turn on you faster than a vulture at a pigeon party.

She was asked to compare President George 'Dubya' Bush with the current president. Natalie paused for a moment and answered, “Well, let me just say that, compared to 'Trumpy', Bush was a girl scout."

Fellow Dixie Chick member, Martie Maguire, added that Trump is the biggest pathological liar since Maurice Du Orleans [WRITER’S NOTE: Du Orleans was an infamous Parisian pimp who reportedly lied at least 90 times a day].

Martie’s sister Emily Robison noted that, now that Trump has finally gotten tested for the Coronavirus, he now needs to get tested to see if he has any sense left in that marble-sized brain of his.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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