Insisting that his bone spurs weren’t acting up, seemingly in remission, and that he was available to present an award, the Academy of Motion Pictures reluctantly agreed to invite Donald Trump to present the Worst Actor award.
Mr. Trump was more than a little miffed, and called upon Mitch McConnell to do something about this. He also called in his old impeachment team Attorney General Barr, Giuliani, and Hannity, insisting that they tell the Academy directors that he would not stand on the stage with the biggest loser, though a winning prize, for the worst performance of an actor.
Told that Robert De Niro might receive the award for worst performance in the Irishman, and aware of the animosity that existed between the two, Trump announced that his bone spurs were acting up, and he would not be able to present the award.
Learning that he could have to receive the Worst Actor award to get on the stage with Trump, De Niro welcomed the opportunity. It's reported that De Niro said, “Let me get on the stage with him, and you’ll see The Raging Bull again.” Reflecting on the possibility of the Secret Service stepping in, Mr. De Niro added, “I’ll just say, hey, you talking to me?”
Trump suggested that perhaps he could get Putin to rig the vote count at Price Waterhouse, and instead of presenting the Worst Actor award to Robert De Niro, it could go to the Harry Potter kid.
“That's a possibility.”
“I’ll get Giuliani to put the squeeze on Putin, and just like Putin did on my election, maybe we can work something out, rig the Academy vote count and give the Worst Actor award to the Potter kid. My feet are feeling better already.”
“But boss, don’t you feel like kind of a loser yourself by presenting the Worst Actor award?"
“You're fired. I'll be on center stage and announce that the vote count was rigged by the Democrats, and Adam Schiff and the Potter kid should get the Best Actor Award. My Republican Senators will back me up on this too.”
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