Bolton flees to Canada claiming Assange as precedent

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 28 January 2020

image for Bolton flees to Canada claiming Assange as precedent
Mr. Schiff is concerned the Russians have infiltrated Mr. Bolton, Mr. Erdogan, Canadian authorities. and his maid service

Insider sources indicate Mr. Bolton is claiming he is in the position of Julian Assange, currently languishing in Belmarsh Prison, London.

Mr. Bolton was spotted in a Continental Trailways bus entering Canada at the Detroit-Windsor border wearing a peculiar head-warmer with what looked like miniature hens sprung from the top of it, in multi-colored wool.

He also wore a face mask, and had colored his eyebrows black.

Mr. Bolton's attorney has said he is fleeing to the Turkish Consulate General in Toronto, where he hopes for refuge.

This action would parallel Mr. Assange's seeking refuge in the Ecuador Embassy several years ago.

This news comes on the heels of Mr. Bolton's book, which claims Mr. Trump explicitly informed him of a quid pro quo arrangement with Ukraine's President Zelensky.

Mr. Bolton is thus squarely in the role of whistle-blower.

Mr. Trump has stated he never disclosed any such arrangement to Mr. Bolton.

Plus, the reason for not allowing Bolton to testify at the impeachment trial is due to “national security”.

Mr. Bolton has broken national security restrictions on his book, and taken to his heels.

This is similar to the way Mr. Assange published information given to him by Chelsea Manning.

In the Continental Trailways bus, Bolton was observed with a fidget-spinner, which turned out to be a communication device of some sort.

Turkish Prime Minister Mr. Erdogan has replied that his view of how to manage eastern Syria might influence how he favors Mr. Bolton's sanctuary.

Is this a quid pro quo? Absolutely not. It's called "dealing".

Mr. Trump has already requested that Canadian authorities extradite Mr. Bolton.

Meanwhile, Mr. Schiff and Mr. Nadler are insisting on a time-out from impeachment proceedings.

They want more time for further investigation.

Mr. Schiff is also suspicious that Mr. Putin is advising both Mr. Erdogan and Mr. Trump on this matter as preliminary to interfering (again, he says) in the 2020 election.

Mr. Bolton, meanwhile, has had a look into The Don Jail in Toronto, and is already saying a 3x9 cell with no toilet seat on the lavatory for 23 hours a day (plus cockroaches) amounts to torture—as with Assange's situation at Belmarsh.

He has asked to be in contact with the Assange Defense Team for advice on possibly upcoming events in his case.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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