TV's "The View" Announces 2016 Presidential Bid

Funny story written by Paul Blake

Saturday, 18 April 2015

image for TV's "The View" Announces 2016 Presidential Bid
"The View" hopes to show America the way!

New York, NY - In a rare political move not seen since the early '70's, Rosie Perez released a message via Twitter and Instagram, that her and her colleagues are collectively running a bi-partisan bid for the 2016 White House.

"That is, if we don't pull each other's hair out by then!" Perez clarified, slapping Whoopi Goldberg on the butt and calling her a "Republican whore-bitch" when asked about the announcement by our politcal columnist, Ty Beltway.

"Yeah, ya know Ty," added Goldberg, from behind her purple 'John Lennon' sunglasses,"now with Barbara Walters and Rosie O'Donnell out of the way, we really feel like we might be able to get something accomplished around here. "I'll be President, li'l Rosie here will be Vice, and the new girl, well, she'll probably just be running around fetching coffee or something - maybe Secretary of State - we'll see. I can never even remember her name. Haven't we killed her yet?"

"Wait just a minute, Whaddaya mean, Vice?" countered Perez, with her tiny fists clenched tight around her latte.

This started a half hour screaming and hair pulling match between the two women, while the new girl cowered behind a fern. And while the two woman tussled across the floor of the Starbucks we were holding the interview in, we used the time to research other past 'TV Show Political Bids.'

As it turns out, the women of 'The View' are not the first ones to try such a stunt.

"Yeah, it's been done before," Whoopi told us, pinning Perez's face down in some muffin crumbs on the floor and forcing her to inhale."The old TV show, Hee Haw ran for Governor of Arkansas - and won!"

"Yeah," added Perez, " And Sabado Gignate (a popluar Latino variety show) has been President of South America for nearly four decades!"

So get ready America, for live "Oval Office Cat Fights" to go along with your morning coffee.

Note: At the time this story went to press, there had been no word if Kelly Rippa plans to also run with her new 'man-bitch' as well.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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