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Funny satire stories about whiskey

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Funny story: Haggis ignore social-distancing

Haggis ignore social-distancing

Coppers have arrested a gaggle of raucous haggis who decided to turn deaf ear to new social-distancing regulations by having a tear-up on Glen Tilt. Authorities arrived at scenes of utter degradation just after one o’clock this morning, after bein...

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Funny story: Tennessee Man Meets Jesus With Whiskey on His Breath

Tennessee Man Meets Jesus With Whiskey on His Breath

Tennessee man Joshua Hendricks recently met his Maker – albeit for only about ninety seconds – with whiskey on his breath. “It wasn't exactly how I wanted it to happen,” admitted Hendricks, who fell into a coma as a result of alcohol poisoning but...

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Funny story: Scottish Celebrities In New Year's Eve Strike Threat

Scottish Celebrities In New Year's Eve Strike Threat

Hogmanay 2014/2015 could be a sober affair with Scotland virtually on a general strike over the normally enthusiastic celebration period. Dissatisfied with a huge list of things which have turned out to be empty Westminster promises, the Scottis...

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Funny story: Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

The North of England is said to be inconsolable after polls have indicated that Scotland will be leaving them. A spokesperson for Northern England told our reporter this morning "England will be a funny shape, has no-one thought of that? Also a f...

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Funny story: Pledge to Make Whiskey Taste Nice if Scots Win Independence Vote

Pledge to Make Whiskey Taste Nice if Scots Win Independence Vote

A pledge has been made by Jacobite, Alexei Salmon to make Scotch Whiskey palatable if he is crowned King of Scotland after the Independence vote. Scotland's nasty National beverage which was once used to induce vomiting after cases of poisoning wi...

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Funny story: Spirit "pick me up" recommended by George Osborne

Spirit "pick me up" recommended by George Osborne

The Pioneer Spirit recommended by George Osborne was probably gin, House of Commons sobriety chief, Charles Kunnidy said this morning. Pioneer Spirit is the latest feel good phrase being bandied about by the Tory spin doctors. But Hogarth's grap...

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Funny story: The Whiskey and Overlooked Sexual Rebellion of 1791 Revealed

The Whiskey and Overlooked Sexual Rebellion of 1791 Revealed

Pittsburgh PA: The Whiskey Rebellion of 1791 was a tax protest during the presidency of George Washington. Farmers selling their grain as distilled whiskey had to pay a new sin tax, which they strongly resented. The tax was a part of Treasury Secreta...

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Funny story: Britons Cut Daily Alcohol Consumption after Parliament Study

Britons Cut Daily Alcohol Consumption after Parliament Study

Following a strong recommendation by the Science and Technology Committee of Parliament, British residents have taken their government's health recommendations to heart, cutting daily drinking activities by more than 50% "We felt an obligation to...

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Funny story: O'Bama Meets Ireland's Prominent Business and Social Leaders

O'Bama Meets Ireland's Prominent Business and Social Leaders

After U.S. President Obama met with Ireland's political leadership, he made it a point to branch out into the countryside and meet business and social leaders in and around the town of Moneygall, where one of his Irish ancestors came from. Firs...

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Funny story: Pink Picks Baby Names from Irish Whiskey Labels

Pink Picks Baby Names from Irish Whiskey Labels

Following her recent pregnancy announcement on the daytime talk show television circuit, power entertainer and songstress, Pink admits looking to Irish Whiskey brands for inspiration on baby names. Along with hubby and offroad motorcycle racing pr...

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Funny story: New Study Determines Whiskey 'Delicious'

New Study Determines Whiskey 'Delicious'

Lynchburg, TN - A study, funded in part by Jack Daniel's has determined that, as has long been suspected, whiskey is in fact 'delicious'. The study consisted of blindfolded subjects taste-testing whiskey versus urine, bleach, and other household clea...

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Funny story: Bourbon Expected To Top $80 Per Liter By This Fall!

Bourbon Expected To Top $80 Per Liter By This Fall!

Better watch out for the price of liquor to skyrocket by this fall, many predicting that Kentucky bourbon could go as high as $80.00 per liter or even higher. Walter Belcher, spokesman for Ezra Brooks agrees with recent statements by the makers of...

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Funny story: 10 wiper fluid addicted children taken to hospital after drinking whiskey

10 wiper fluid addicted children taken to hospital after drinking whiskey

Ten wiper fluid addicted children in Arkansas were today taken to hospital, after mistakenly drinking whiskey. 'It was awful', Dr. Hick Lessbrain said, from the Hillary Clinton Detox and Facelift Hospital in Backwater, 'we have campaigned for year...

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Funny story: Scotts scratch scotch

Scotts scratch scotch

GLASGOW, Scotland - Scottish sots held a drive-a-thong to cut sots alcohol abuse. Drinking, scantily-clad, driving ministers screamed that action was needed to reform the Scottish drinking culture, as they careened by, honking, belching and weaving.

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Funny story: British Petrol Merges with Arthur Treacher's and Vegamite to Produce Phatso Phuels

British Petrol Merges with Arthur Treacher's and Vegamite to Produce Phatso Phuels

BP, one of the founders of Kuwait and numerous other postcolonial prowestern oil whores seems to be going green and rather fishy. So many British drivers are turning to the processed cooking oil as their fuel of choice that BP has been seeking merger...

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Funny story: Gordon "Brave Hardon" Brown Declares Scotch Independence!

Gordon "Brave Hardon" Brown Declares Scotch Independence!

In a shocking announcement, long feared by keen observers of the UK, Scotsman and UK Prime Minister told the world that from now on there would be Scotch independence. Opponents of the drastic measure warned that this kind of a split could lead to ci...

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Funny story: England discovers oil, and invents whisky

England discovers oil, and invents whisky

After hundreds of years of living off Scotland, England today discovered there were oilfields in Lincolnshire, and discovered how to make whisky. Since 1898 England hasn't brought in any income to the United Kingdom, and indeed has cost Scotland,...

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