32 Year Old Bachelor Reveals True Motive For Reading "Twilight" Series

Written by Tony Bagodonutz

Friday, 27 September 2013

"C'mon let's be real. A lot of the chicks reading those books are smokin' hot and between the ages of twenty and twenty-six. I'm trying to nail that demographic," stated Mike Oxbig, a 32 year old bachelor and avid reader of the "Twilight" series.

He went on to say, "I mean, it's not like it's GREAT literature. It's alright, easy to read. A guy's gotta do what he's gotta do to get laid though, you know what I mean?"

A recent trend study shows an increasing number of people outside of the books originally intended demographic reading the series.

"I don't know why older women read them," Oxbig went on to say, "I know why I read them. The bottom line is this. If a guy over the age of thirty is reading a 'Twilight' book, he's either reading them to have material to talk about so he can get a hot twenty something chick in the sack, or so he can nail someone that looks like Ed Cullen, plain and simple."

When asked if he gets excited every time a new movie based on the series is released, Oxbig's reply was, "Absolutely! Nine times out of ten, that date is going to end very well."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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