Men With Michael Douglas Shaped Chins Most Likely To Cheat On Spouse

Written by Rodney Romb

Monday, 9 September 2013


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The earliest effect of the erotic cleft chin dates back to the Civil War.

According to a new study from a prominent women's magazine, which cannot be named for fear of backlash from feminist rights groups and overly sensitive bloggers, men with Michael Douglas Shaped chins are most likely to cheat on their spouse.

The survey concludes a 20-year study into people with chins shaped like Douglas. The survey was initiated in 1993 upon the release of the then controversial erotic thriller Basic Instinct.

The group began the study after numerous reports of men with cleft chins according to one anonymous person "where ready to do anything, anywhere, within the embodiment of consent.

The group heralded the findings.

In 1994 in Buloxi, Mississippi at least 9 out of 10 people attending sex addiction meetings either had a cleft chin or owned a copy of the Basic Instinct VHS.

Researchers from the Gunthervich Institute in Kolassau, Germany refuse to blame only his chin. "We need to see things from a bigger picture".They themselves conducted their into survey into what they deem " The Michael Douglas Sex Face Syndrome.

He emits a highly aroused sex face which has erotic Kinaesethetic implications. Researchers hypothesize that when a subject is exposed to his sex face, it ignites a subliminal and uncontrollable hidden desire to cheat on a spouse.

Women are being warned to be on the lookout for possible symptoms.

An immediate and sudden swelling of the cleft chin, arching of the back and several forward lunging movements.

A nostalgic love of the 90s with a specific desire for Bill Clinton to be President again.

Governments are reacting to the situation. Nightclub clubs in the Eastern United States are subjecting all men to cleft chin checks. Those whose chins are angled at a degree greater than 3cm will be refused entry.

Douglas refused to comment, however, did admit that he would be interested in reprising his role for Basic Instinct 3D.

NOTE: Douglas is currently seeking a patent for his chin while he awaits an announcement as to whether it will get its own star on the walk of fame.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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