9 Chelsea Fans Collapse As Torres Nets Two Against Leicester In FA Cup Quarter Final
There was pandemonium today at Stamford Bridge, with nine spectators collapsing in dead faints as Fernando Torres scored a brace in eighteen minutes against Leicester City in this FA Cup Quarter Final tie, in a 5-2 victory for the Blues. Paramedic...
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Qatari Shaikh offers Roman Abramovich $3bn for Chelsea Football Club
Doha, Qatar - An oil-rich nabob from the gas state of Qatar has brought a three billion dollar smirk to the Russian mobster's face. Shaikh Mustapha Pee bin Dishdasha, son of the Emir, is even throwing in some spare gas wells, a 50ft ocean-going ya...
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Ashley Cole Shoots - It's in the Back of the Neck!
As a defender, Ashley Cole doesn't get many shooting opportunities. So when one comes along he tries to make it count. At a training session last weekend, it has been reported that the Chelsea player accidentally shot and injured a student with a...
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Vanessa Perroncel Says John Terry's Cock Smaller Than We Would Imagine
Vanessa Perroncel, the model at the centre of the John Terry Scandal, has spoken out today in a French newspaper interview, claiming that Mr Terry's penis is not as big as people would think, and "nothing to write home about". Perroncel is the for...
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Football Gossip & comments 8th July 2012
Manchester Evening News Manchester City defender Pablo Zabaleta says controversial team-mate Mario Balotelli can become one of the best players in the world if he starts using his brain more. What brain - The one in his penis? Liverpool Echo New Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers has no intention of selling Welsh forward Craig Bellamy. Instead, he's going to swap him for half a dozen tracksui...
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Aston Villa fans praise rapid improvement of team
Fans of Birmingham's biggest professional soccer club today praised the teams massive '100% improvement over the Christmas holiday period. Following a zero-eight setback against European Champions Chelsea, the London based Russian financed team fr...
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More Bad News For Japan
Manchester United Chelsea Champions League Tie Could Be Exciting
Chelsea Hammer Barcelona
Chelski Sugar Daddy Must Go
Ashley Cole now less popular than the Ebola virus survey says
Manchester United and Chelsea Managers In Possible 'Fight To The Death'
Didier Drogba To Face Life Ban For Coin-Throwing
Super Injunction Lifted! Drogba Got Malaria From Cheryl Cole
Contestants line up for New season of reality show 'Dicing With Russians'
Droylsden To Be Reinstated Into FA Cup
England Fans Ashley Cole Booing Explained: Nothing To Do With Backpass
Sales Of Armchairs On Increase On Fulham Road
Chelsea Buy History
In an unprecedented move, Chelsea FC have splashed out an undisclosed sum - beleived to be several billion - on purchasing history from all over the world during the summer. At Saturday's game against West Bromwich Albion, they revealed their latest...
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Frank Lampard to have a sex change operation
Chelsea midfielder, Frank Lampard has admitted that he is nearing the end of his career in the beautiful game. Unfortunately, being the dullest object on the planet, so dull he occasionally vanishes during matches, he would only be eligible for a Mat...
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Football's Offside Rule altered
The offside rule in football, which nobody has ever fully understood no matter how many times it has been explained to them, was changed today, and first came into effect at the crucial match between Chelsea and their visitors Manchester United. P...
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The magic of The FA Cup - Semi-Final Predictions
After Paul The Octopus took the 2010 World Cup by storm by correctly picking the winner in eight successive world cup matches upto and including the final, Sloof Sport News today discovered a meerkat is now attempting to repeat the feat starting with the FA Cup semi-finals. Mystic Mikhov the Meerkat is A cousin of Russian Meerkat Alexsandr, who viewers may know from the Compare The Meerkat webs...
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John Terry addresses nation on Twitter.
John Terry has spoken to the people after his team cheated their way to victory against QPR in the FA Cup. Chelsea nicked a result in the match due to Daniel Sturridge stepping on a Second World War landmine in the Loftus Road penalty area after r...
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Action group ask for Luis Suarez to be culled
A group of people from West London have petitioned government about the possibility of culling Liverpool Striker Luis Suarez. The move comes after the Uruguayan bit the Chelsea player Branislav Ivanovic during Sunday's Premier League match. Madge...
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John Terry News Update: He Did It For The Irish
John Terry, the Chelsea and former England football team captain, has told friends he is almost as sorry for shagging Wayne Bridge's ex-girlfriend, as Frenchman Thierry Henry said he was for handling the ball in the build-up to France's goal in the W...
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Andre Villas-Boas has secret sex dossier on Chelsea footballers.
A secret dossier revealing intimate sexual details about Chelsea footballers has been found on a park bench in West London. The 69 page document, containing measurements and diagrams, was compiled over several years by new Chelsea Manager Andre Vi...
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Chelsea Grab Points As More Hilarity Emanates From Stamford Bridge
Chelsea took all three points in this top four struggle - but once again West London was rocking with laughter at the irony. It seemed Chelsea, for all their effort, were going to come up blank against a resolute City defence - in fact these are t...
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Manchester Airport Terror Plot Foiled
Greater Manchester Police this evening revealed how extensive surveillance had brought down a gang intent on bringing terror to Manchester Airport. Dawn raids in Salford, Wythenshawe and Stretford resulted in the arrests of six individuals believe...
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Andre Villas-Boas to become the world's most expensive seat warmer
Porto coach Andre Villas-Boas looks set to become the world's most expensive seat warmer after reports suggested Chelsea were prepared to trigger a clause in his contract which stipulates he can leave if a club is prepared to pay £13.2m for his space...
Read full storyFunny Chelsea FC Headlines
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Football's Offside Rule altered
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John Terry News Update: He Did It For The Irish
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Chelsea Buy History
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Ashley Cole Shoots - It's in the Back of the Neck!
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Chelsea Grab Points As More Hilarity Emanates From Stamford Bridge
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Andre Villas-Boas to become the world's most expensive seat warmer
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John Terry addresses nation on Twitter.
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9 Chelsea Fans Collapse As Torres Nets Two Against Leicester In FA Cup Quarter Final
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The magic of The FA Cup - Semi-Final Predictions
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Football Gossip & comments 8th July 2012
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Mourinho to play in FA Cup Final
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Abrahamovich reveals reason behind Grant sacking
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Chelsea FC Disease
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Vanessa Perroncel Says John Terry's Cock Smaller Than We Would Imagine
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Frank Lampard to have a sex change operation
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Manchester Airport Terror Plot Foiled
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Andre Villas-Boas has secret sex dossier on Chelsea footballers.
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Aston Villa fans praise rapid improvement of team
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Action group ask for Luis Suarez to be culled
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Qatari Shaikh offers Roman Abramovich $3bn for Chelsea Football Club
