More Bad News For Japan

Funny story written by grimbo

Thursday, 17 March 2011


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First there was the earthquake, next came the tsunami, and then the horror of the radiation leak.

This last week has been one of the worst in Japan's history as a series of natural disasters has caused widespread devastation in the North East of the country.

But the nation is bracing itself for a fourth event that could have an even more cataclysmic effect on their society.

Chelsea centre half John Terry is considering a megabucks 5 year contract offer from J League giants Kashima Antlers that would see him finish his career in the Far East.

Japanese Culture Minister Yoshiaki Takaki is raising the matter with the Japanese Emperor Akihito :

"The thought of an individual such as Mr Terry setting foot, let alone spending 5 years in this proud nation fills our government with dread.

"Anyone who has visited our country knows that the Japanese are polite, well mannered people who put loyalty and family values above all else.

"Mr Terry's reputation does not bode well and we are extremely concerned about the effect his behaviour would have on young, impressionable Japanese.

"Our society might take years to recover from his extended visit".

John Terry's agent Brian Shapiro replied by stating "If my client takes up the generous offer from Kashima Antlers, I'm sure that Mr Terry will show his adopted countrymen the same level of respect he accords his fellow Englishmen".


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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