Chinese Banks At Karmic Epicenter of Friday's Capricorn Solar Eclipse

Written by queen mudder

Monday, 11 January 2010


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A moment of syzygy/there's a bad moon on the rise

London - (Off-the-Wall-Street): The 07.11GMT occultation at 25 degrees Capricorn is expected to be the defining moment of the new decade.

The dramatic celestial floorshow will be followed swiftly by the 09.02am suspension of global markets as a flash of syzygy sees Venus conjoining the eclipsed New Moon.

"Watch out for the announcement of a massive Beijing 2008 Ponzi scam hitting the rocks," Mayfair hedge funders' psychiatrist Prof V Smartt said today, "destined to make Bernard Madoff's $65 billion flutter look like chickenfeed."

So what's it all about?

About $250 billion of lies, spin and hype, leading to the imminent collapse of the Illuminatis' biggest, ugliest oriental Pyramid scheme ever.

Centred on 'secret scandals, massive theft, embezzlement, fraud, deception and obstruction of the course of justice' it's nativity lies in the UK's 'relinquishing' of its former colony Hong Kong.

Yeah, so what else is new?

According to enlightened members of the UK Fraud Squad, the IRS and law enforcement agencies around the world Friday's annular eclipse "will be like Guy Fawkes."

The celestial phenomenon will occur just ahead of the communications planet Mercury ceasing its own retrograde spin, very close in Capricorn to Pluto, Lord of Riches, Lord of Karma.

And Lord of Big Oil'N'Gas.

Commenting ahead of Friday's events London astrologers say the eclipse will transit China's own natal chart, right bang in the middle of the karmic cusp of huge criminality liked to Princess Diana's failure to deliver the Throne of Albion.

"Sure is lousy news for the Federal Reserve, too," Big Oil sources in San Ramon, Ca, added.

"The eclipse is at fundamental odds with the Fed natal chart's Cancerian Neptune - and up shit creek without a paddle for Fed Chairman Bernanke's current Saturn tranist of natal Mars and Neptune in Libra."

Gotcha bastards!

And the icing on the celestial cake, if any?

"Next Monday will see the Great Benefic Jupiter move effortlessly into Pisces and the Lesser Benefic Venus glide into Aquarius," Prof Smartt added.

"Y'ain't seen nothing like it since Genghis Khan was born!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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