London - (Epifanny): Lords of Misrule comedians in Downing Street beware.
Splayed deceptive low in the skies above Buckingham Palace the brilliant Twelfth Night conjunction augurs a grim and long-awaited bloody good riddance.
Like the notorious Star of the East that befuddled some Magi two thousand-odd years ago the celestial orbs rise early in the sky on Tuesday.
To the naked eye the blazing trajectory fulfils all the promise of the Hellfire Club comet heralding the arrival of the The Chosen Messiah.
But deep in his Scottish Ballybollox Castle spider hole notorious Prince Charles doppelganger Arthur Chapman is a gibbering wreck.
The son of Robert Maxwell RIP and Raine, Cuntess Spencer the pretender to Albion's throne is gripped by a malaise stretching from his feckless groin to the temopral lobe implants that Special Branch monitors.
A right Yuletide bollocking from Camilla has sealed a separation pact ahead of a matrimonial annulment.
Non-consumation of the nuptial act has been blamed on a variety of symptoms, most of them gay and decidedly underage.
"I want half a billion quid, you heartless egotistical slimedog bastard!" was the Missus's opening salvo after reading that Elin Woods had got her claws on $300 million this Xmas.
And now she's buggered off to some Caribbean hellhole after threatening to publish the video nasties of Charles and Diana's ex-butler Paul Burrell shagging a corgi.
And what of Kate Middleton?
Charles' daughter by Koo Stark has stayed away all festive season to concenmtrate on battling with Social services for the return of her hideous identical twin boys...
Princess Anne is 69.
