China joins Russia in asteroid project - Al Gore seethes in rage

Funny story written by Helen Tarnation

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

image for China joins Russia in asteroid project - Al Gore seethes in rage
Voiceless Martians object to 'pumping coal fumes' into the Solar System. Greenprice taking donations to represent them

China's space agency has announced its intention to join Russia in an international project to save Earth from a cataclysmic collision with a gigantic asteroid.

Xian Bao, head of China's space agency, said that the Chinese people would 'work to their utmost' to save the planet from an impact with Apophis, an 885-foot asteroid.

'This is a big priority for China, because China makes a big target for a rock like that', he said.

What enraged Al Gore was China's plans to use coal-powered technology to divert the asteroid, since Russia has declined to use nuclear technology.

'CO2 is a poisonous gas, just as bad as the mustard gas that Hitler used during the first World War', said Al Gore. 'And the CO2 that comes from burning coal is extra-special since it's far more bad than other CO2s.'

China has vast coal reserves, and Gore suspects the China-Russia partnership is merely a bid by China to boost its coal exports.

'Not content to export coal around the world, China wants to export coal throughout the Solar System', Gore fumed. 'In a real democracy, we would consult the Martians before embarking on this project.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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