Bob The Banker: "We can't fix this."

Written by Moggie

Friday, 24 October 2008

image for Bob The Banker: "We can't fix this."
No soft landing: Another of Bob the Bankers clients after jumping from the 14th floor.

Banking leader Bob The Banker has faced shareholders and stated that "we can't fix this." Wendy and Roley were by Bob's side as he addressed the angry group, despite being laid off earlier in the day.

"The fact is it's not Bobs fault" Wendy told the disgruntled shareholders. "His building company went bust sure, but that's because he was a crap builder. But this is not Bobs fault."

Bob is alleged to have over extended himself, providing unsecured building loans for the likes of the Teletubbies, a Boobah and even Postman Pat. Money was also lost insuring the Ponty Pundy fire department, the only fire service stupid enough to employ officers made entirely of highly flammable wood.

There are also rumors that some of the money was loaned to members of "The Night Garden", a shadowy organisation that Bob first came into contact with during rehabilitation for the morphine addiction that was brought on by a bad back, sustained during his early days as a builder.

The Sunflower Valley investigator is quoted as saying "The whole thing stinks like Pilchard."

The collapse of the global money market and Bob's place in it is just another sad chapter in Bob's rollercoaster life. Less than a decade ago, Bob had recovered from his drug addiction and the damning quality assurance investigation that had highlighted numerous code violations in his building work, and had launched a successful recording career. It was this that originally funded the Bank which has now failed, taking many millions of investor dollars with it.

Bob could not be contacted for comment after the announcement as he had left his mobile 'phone somewhere.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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