Seattle WA -- Software giant Macrosoft is the latest and the biggest victim of the crashing economy. The legendary computer giant filed for bankruptcy protection this morning after defaulting on $800 billion in debt.
The Internet Explorer browser no longer exists and most web traffic has stopped. On the back of this, president Bush immediately declared an "internet holiday". There will be no access to the internet for at least a week.
Macrosoft went into default after its founder and CEO, Billy Goats, gave away too much money. Mr. Goats was too generous with his charitable work and literally gave away the store. Macrosoft stock plunged to zero after a frantic trading day on Wall Street.
All internet access will cease until the crisis passes. Macrosoft is hoping for a $700 billion bailout for itself and will soon be in front of Congress asking for a bailout.
"We want people to go a few days without internet access before we ask for money, let people go into withdrawal." said Billy Goats. "Once they see how much they miss the internet, they won't mind throwing billions of dollars our way."
Mental health experts say they will work around the clock to guide nerds and boffins through this unprecedented crisis. The experts say millions of internet junkies have not been outside in years.
"This may be a good thing." said psychiatrist Sigmund Fish. "Everyone needs to get out and buy guns, food and supplies this weekend for the impending Depression anyway."