Congress Plans $700 Billion Bake Sale

Funny story written by Fish

Sunday, 28 September 2008

image for Congress Plans $700 Billion Bake Sale
Let Them Eat Cake

Washington DC-- Congress was faced with the biggest challenge in generations over the weekend and decided to look away at the last minute. No one wanted to write a check for $700 billion! After a weekend of threats and tears, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi decided to hold a bake sale instead.

Ms. Pelosi's idea was for everyone in Congress to bake something and then sell it to raise money! Ms. Pelosi baked three apple pies to show her patriotism. She hopes to sell them for a billion dollars each.

Barney Frank loves baking in his spare time too. He baked a Hershey's fudge cake with extra Hershey's Kisses. He will sell them on Castro Street in San Fransisco and hopes to raise $10 billion.

John McCain had his wife bake a crab cake, he doesn't like sweets. The crabs are from his days in the Hanoi Hilton and are still fat and juicy. He says he will smash the cake in "his fucking wife's" face if no one buys it for under $100 billion.

Senator Obama baked a little something too. He baked a Muslim treat called an October Surprise. It has something unexpected inside. He will auction it personally to his disciples and hopes to raise maybe a dollar.

All the congress people will sell their treats tomorrow on tables set up in front of the Capitol steps.

"This is what the American people deserve." said Ms. Pelosi. They sent people like us to Congress and this is what they get."

"Let them eat cake!" she cackled.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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