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Funny satire stories about Microsoft

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The Famous And Now Forgotten Word Warrior- The Paperclip Guy!

Do you remember way back in the foggy mist of Internet time the first and most infamous troll of all, the Paperclip Guy? He would always be lurking around the corner of any Word document you were typing; just waiting for his chance to add his two bits about what you were writing, like a Stasi spy eager for a promotion within the ranks. He considered himself the main protector and overseer of...

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Bill Gates Desert Island Disc fav's exclusive

Funny story: Bill Gates Desert Island Disc fav's exclusive

Bill Gates has been invited to talk about his fabulous life on Desert Island Discs an ancient BBC 4 radio programme and divulge to the world his favourite top ten songs, and here they are exclusively for you: 1) Money - Pink Floyd (what else?) 2) How much is that doggy in the WINDOW? - (Gates heard this as a nipper and the rest is history) 3) Tainted Love - Soft Cell (not in a gay way he...

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Bill Gates Announces His 2016 Presidential Campaign

Redmond, WA-Microsoft tycoon Bill Gates plans to make everyone connected to his software, his internet providers, his self-driving vehicles "if and when" he is elected President of the United States, Gates announced in launching his 2016 presidential...

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Paul Allen's sunken WWII Japanese wreck 'is a hoax' says coastguard

Funny story: Paul Allen's sunken WWII Japanese wreck 'is a hoax' says coastguard

Philippines - The remains of a Japanese WWII battleship at the bottom of the Sibuyan Sea have been declared a hoax in a coastguard's report identifying the wreck as a decrepit sardine trawler that went down during a typhoon in 1983. Divers working...

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Amazion Taking Christmas Orders For New Faster Than Light Game Console Computers

Funny story: Amazion Taking Christmas Orders For New Faster Than Light Game Console Computers

Heisenberg's quantum principles have been used to make the "Decahedral" processor chips in the new "faster than light" computers which will be available for Christmas. Predictably Britain's James Bond and the C.I.A. have ordered one each from Amazio...

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New Generation Of Super Fast Quantum Optic Computer Chip PCs Available In Time For Xmas

Funny story: New Generation Of Super Fast Quantum Optic Computer Chip PCs Available In Time For Xmas

New super fast technology based on optical quantum principles has been used to make the Octahedral processor chips in the new faster than light computers which will be available for Xmas. A spokesperson for Microhard told our reporter. "The computer...

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Covert "Girl Detector" Discovered In Windows Operating Systems

Funny story: Covert "Girl Detector" Discovered In Windows Operating Systems

Redmond, WA - Microsoft Corporation was on the defensive today after an independent software research group released its findings that Microsoft's Windows operating systems contain a hidden 'girl detector.' The existence of the girl detector confi...

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Windows 8 Used to Cure the Criminally Insane

Funny story: Windows 8 Used to Cure the Criminally Insane

Recent reports indicate that State Mental Hospitals across the country are treating their worst cases of insanity by forcing patients to use a computer running Windows 8 for prolonged periods of time. "It's true" confirmed a spokesperson for the...

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Millions Worldwide Mourn The End Of The Golden Age Of The Internet.

Funny story: Millions Worldwide Mourn The End Of The Golden Age Of The Internet.

It was a demise that many have seen coming for a long time. It is a tragedy whose full impact will not be noticed for a while to come. All things of great worth that are brought into this world go through a cycle- a difficult and long birth, a formative period where it is ignored, misunderstood and its virtues recognized by few, then an ascendance and acceptance by the more intelligent and for...

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A Massachusetts Judge Rules That Microsoft Can Legally Read Peoples Email

Funny story: A Massachusetts Judge Rules That Microsoft Can Legally Read Peoples Email

BOSTON - A judge in Massachusetts has just issued a landmark directive which states that Microsoft legally has the right to read peoples email. Judge Erastus "The Gavel" Bockerbottle ruled that the corporate giant can read emails in the interest o...

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Google: you will soon be replaced by a robot

SILICONE VALLEY, CA - Google CEO Eric Schmidt says his company is making "progress" in its campaign to solve the unemployment crisis once and for all time by replacing human beings with robots. "By making people redundant," Schmidt said, "we no lo...

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Microsoft Announces Creation of iTeam Just To Piss Off Apple

Funny story: Microsoft Announces Creation of iTeam Just To Piss Off Apple

(Silicon Valley, CA) - Microsoft announced their plans to create a new think tank division of the mega-billion dollar company, dubbed Project: iTeam. According to Chet Chitley, Junior iTeam Manager, "From now on whenever somebody says 'there's no...

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Andrea Mitchell: The Unauthorized Biography

MSNBC's version of Fox News' typical blonde bombshell reporters, Andrea Mitchell pretends to be the network's chief foreign affairs correspondent, reporting upon the sexual infidelities of foreign heads of state. She also hosts Andrea Mitchell Reports, on which she repeats gossip concerning the adulterous pursuits of U. S. politicians, unless they are members of the Democratic Party. To show th...

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Chris Matthews: The Unauthorized Biography

To show that he believed in "giving back" even before he had anything to give back, MSNBC's Chris Matthews went to Africa as a recent college graduate to serve on the Peace Corps. Then, to avoid work, he got on the public dole immediately upon his return stateside, working as an aide in the U. S. Senate. Because he had a way with words, if not with women, Matthews became a speechwriter, scripting...

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Microsoft Retail Store Unable to Open

Two or three customers were disappointed this morning after a six-month old Microsoft retail store was unable to open for business. "There was a sign on the locked door that said, '0x74041161 Non-system Error'," said one customer, 24-year-old Ch...

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The Blue Square will be removed in the next version of Microsoft Office

Funny story: The Blue Square will be removed in the next version of Microsoft Office

Since the dawn of personal computers, to save a document, users have pressed the blue square. Back in the dark ages of the eighties and nineties, the operators of these archaic machines recognised the blue square for what it was, a picture of a so-ca...

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Man on laptop recycles his recycle bin

A 34 Irish man is in hospital tonight after he accidentally recycled his recycle bin. The man, who wishes to remain anonymous, was on his laptop at home when he made the fateful error. A hospital spokesman said the laptop went into an infinite...

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Brief: Microsoft to release 'Playstation 3'

The first new video game console since 2006 is finally set to be released. Microsoft has unveiled its newest video game console, which it says far exceeds the capabilities of any game console on the market. The same company known for releasin...

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