Prostitutes New Campaign: "Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less"

Funny story written by Francine Fishpaw

Monday, 22 September 2008

image for Prostitutes New Campaign: "Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less"
Bunny Ranch Girls - Ann Noir and Offa Shore - "Drill Us Now".

Bunny Ranch, Reno, NV - Economic hard times have hit almost every sector of American life including the brothels of Nevada. So the working ladies of the famous Bunny Ranch brothel outside of Reno, Nevada are touting the Republican slogan that fits the times; "Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less".

The high price of gas and the hard economic times have affected every "service" sectors of the U.S. economy including the brothels. The Bunny Ranch has had a steady clientele for years but they have also been affected by the down turn in the economy and the high price of gas.

Bunny Ranch girls Ann Noir and Offa Shore discussed how for the past several months business has been down as a couple of patrons checked them out. "It's been hard for us because we are located several miles outside of Reno and it cost more gas to get out here to the Bunny Ranch", said Ms. Noir, "Plus they don't have as much money as they used to spend on us for a good time". Ms. Shore added "That is why we are behind the Republicans idea of drilling off shore and started to use their slogan".

The girls were talking about the Republicans idea called "Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less", which they are pushing for the U.S. to start drilling along the coast and in the Alaskan wilderness. The Republicans also want to invest in clean coal, wind, natural gas and build more nuclear plants because the United States now buys over 50% of their oil from outside sources. They believe that would help Americans with high gasoline prices and would help the U.S. economy and energy needs.

So the girls of the Bunny Ranch are getting their little behinds behind the idea by offering their clientele lower prices in their own "Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less".

We asked the men who were talking to Ms. Noir and Ms. Shore what they thought about the new slogan and the new lower prices and one said "Why I think it is great. I'm about to drill Ann Noir and my friend here is going to drill Offa Shore, and hopefully we will hit it successfully. Who knows if we decide to get a kinky we might pick up that black girl over there and start to burn some coal".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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