The Bush-McCain $700 billion banker bailout: One billion dollars to each of the top 700 bankers

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Saturday, 20 September 2008

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Bundles for bankers

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - George Bush and John McCain revealed on Saturday that their $700 billion dollar banker bailout entails giving one billion dollars to each of the top 700 Wall Street bankers they know.

"Sure one billion dollars sounds like a lot of money to give to a single person," said Bush, "but it is the least we should give to those poor banker guys. After all, they are Republicans and the friends of John McCain and myself."

The banker bailout plan was applauded by the very same Wall Street bankers who will each receive one billion dollars.

"We have seen the stock value of our banks plummet to new levels, along with our personal fortunes," said one top banker.

"I will use my billion dollar gift to redecorate my mansion in the Hamptons, to buy a decent 250 foot yacht, and a private jet for myself. That Bush is one swell guy," he added.

"This isn't about bailing out a bunch of banks," stated McCain enthusiastically. "It is about making sure our Republican Party cronies stay rich, rich, RICH!"

Congress eagerly approved the banker bailout plan since they were sure to enjoy substantial kickbacks and other perks for not opposing it.

The bailout will among other things purchase the worthless mortgage debt securities the bankers were stupid enough to buy and to make those garbage bonds liabilities of the US government and the average taxpayer.

--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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