CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The biggest hamburger franchise in the entire world has just announced a new restaurant change.
According to American Foodie News Agency reporter Paloma Sonoma, the Golden Arches giant is going to be doing away with all of the store playgrounds.
Miss Sonoma revealed that Mickey D's is going to replace the playgrounds and their swings, monkey bars, and mechanical quarter horses, with brand new state-of-the-art water slides.
The powers-that-be pointed out that since the weather is still going to be hot-as-hell, kids will enjoy basking in the water a lot more than just simply climbing on the very hot monkey bars.
Miss Sonoma said that the first McDonalds to implement the new McDonald's water slide is a McDonalds located in Laredo, Texas, where the temperatures have been constantly hitting 104 to 109.