BALTIMORE - (Satire News) - McDonalds has gotten quite a publicity boost as The Baltimore Beacon Star has named it The Best Fast Food Restaurant in America.
Beacon Star reporter Ersatz Pontoon, said he talked to one of the Mickey D's directors of marketing and sales and he was told that he is thrilled to say that McDonalds is kicking every fast food chain's ass; including Burger King, Jack-in-the-Box, KFC, Wendy's, and even the Left Coast new kid on the block, Burger Bandit.
Pontoon noted that in his opinion the things that make the Golden Arches a great restaurant are their unbeatable McFries, their Avocado Cheese McTacos, and the fact that they give law enforcement officers free Peanut Butter and Jelly McCookies.
In Heat News. Nuuk, Greenland reported a record-breaking high of 112 degrees.
