DALLAS - (Satire News) - The airline industry is having fits as the amount of passengers has fallen by 43.7% in just the past week.
A spokesperson for the industry, Wanda "Jet Lag" Sippatinski, 58, said that as a result Delta has had to cancel most of its flights.
She noted that the reason for the cancellation in not really due to the drop in flyers, but rather it is due to the recent shortage of fuel, pretzels, and pilots.
Sippatinski, who stands 6-foot-3, and weighs 293 pounds, noted that the airline is considering going into the fast food business because the recent sales of hamburgers, French fries, pizza, chicken tenders, and tacos have gone through the roof.
Meanwhile, United Airlines has modified their "Fly The Friendly Skies of United" to "Please, Please, Please Fly The Friendly Skies of United."
