DALLAS – (Satire News) – One of the nation’s largest airlines has just announced that it will be cancelling hundreds of flights.
A spokesperson for Southwest told Dan Harwood, with the Scuttlebutt Review, that the reason is due to the pretzel and peanut shortage.
He noted that Jet Blue and Delta have totally shut down all flights, and both are looking at trying to import pretzels and peanuts from Venezuela.
Meanwhile, Southwest has had an emergency meeting with reps from Planter’s Peanuts about possibly putting on a third shift to deal with the situation.
Vice-President Harris has urged retail stores to donate some of their pretzel and peanut supply to Southwest, as a shown of good will.
In Trump Family News. Ivanka has assured the news media that her pubic rash is now under control and there is no reason for anyone to be alarmed.