CICERO, Illinois – (Satire News) – The McDonalds Corporation, after an extensive research undertaking, has decided to change up it’s Happy Meal menu item.
Mickey D’s has just announced that effective Thanksgiving Day, they will no longer include plastic toys with their Happy Meals.
A spokesperson for the fast food giant said that studies show that kids hate the Happy Meal toys, which are cheap as hell, more than they hate taking baths (and that’s saying something).
So on November 25, Happy Meals will no longer include a cheap-ass toy, and instead they will include a scratch-off ticket.
The fast food franchise points out that some young Ronald McDonald patrons could end up winning up to $1 million on a scratch-off ticket.