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Local Employee Decapitated For Having Too Many Unexcused Absences

Funny story: Local Employee Decapitated For Having Too Many Unexcused Absences

St. Paul, Minnesota. The corporate staff at Pete's National Decking Products, a factory that produces household furniture items and outdoor decking material, executed one of their employees last Monday at 12:30 pm. Thomas Waters, 42, was allo...

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Insecure, Manipulative, Vicious, Bossy, Emotionally-Unstable Correctional Officer Reaches '10 Year Work Anniversary'

Funny story: Insecure, Manipulative, Vicious, Bossy, Emotionally-Unstable Correctional Officer Reaches '10 Year Work Anniversary'

Minnesota. Lisa Degner, 32, reached her '10 Year Work Anniversary' as an officer at the Olsen Correctional Facility last Monday. Lisa, who is well-known by her fellow correctional officers for being manipulative, bossy, incompetent, cruel, and...

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Head-widening procedures increasing among youth, experts concerned

Funny story: Head-widening procedures increasing among youth, experts concerned

US experts are concerned about a steady rise in cosmetic procedures to widen the head and enlarge the eyes in mostly teen and preteen girls. Jennifer Smith is 12 years old, and she has been begging her parents for the last two years to get the upp...

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Pete's Wood Awards Mr. Hymen Clit 'Employee of the Month' For January

Funny story: Pete's Wood Awards Mr. Hymen Clit 'Employee of the Month' For January

Portage County, Wisconsin. Pete's Wood, a lumber furniture factory that utilizes only the biggest and hardest wood in order to produce household furniture and outdoor composite decking boards, took a special moment last week to shine the employee sp...

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US Homeland Security Border Patrol Guards Needed

Funny story: US Homeland Security Border Patrol Guards Needed

It is the responsibility of the US Department of Homeland Security to uphold US Immigration policy, and to provide trained personnel to undertake that task. With this in mind, US Homeland Security Services would like to announce the need for addit...

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Needed Immediately: Jamal Khashoggi Lookalike

Funny story: Needed Immediately: Jamal Khashoggi Lookalike

We are in urgent need of an Arabic man who has the look and build of the murdered and dissolved Saudi Arabian dissident journalist, Jamal Khashoggi, for immediate work. You should, at least partly, resemble Mr Khashoggi with regard to height and weight. Having a similar face to Mr Khashoggi would be a bonus. Spectacles are desirable, but can be provided. The work requires no experience, alth...

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Petty Criminal? Bearing a Grudge? No Luck With the Ladies? Loser? Why Not Join Isis?

Funny story: Petty Criminal? Bearing a Grudge? No Luck With the Ladies? Loser? Why Not Join Isis?

Paid content on behalf of Isis Recruitment Services, bomb crater, Syrian Desert. We know how you feel. You've done time in prison for shoplifting or burglary. You hate your job stacking shelves in Lidl or counting chicken nuggets. You've been thrown out of college for failing your accountancy exam. You're an incel, girls don't want to know you and Pornhub is your only outlet. You spend too much...

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Bernie Sanders Proposes Maximum Wage of $16 Per Hour

Funny story: Bernie Sanders Proposes Maximum Wage of $16 Per Hour

MONTPELIER, VT - Today, Democrat Presidential candidate, Senator Bernie Sanders proposed a maximum wage of $16 per hour. In addition, Senator Sanders supports a minimum wage of $15 per hour. "Establishing a maximum wage of $16 and raising the m...

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Job Applicant Sets Himself Apart with Thank You Note

ELKHART, IN--Saying that he had never before seen such passion and originality in an applicant, Marshall & Inmark hiring manager Karl Sayers told reporters Thursday that 24-year-old Peter Heintzelman had "all but clinched" the marketing assistant...

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PM Vows 100% Employment

Funny story: PM Vows 100% Employment

BBC News has reported today that David Cameron has pledged the Tories will help Britain become "a nation of full employment." He has not stated a specific time frame for these proposals but hopes that they will happen soonish. This announcement a...

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Office Christmas party goes downhill fast after hot girl in accounts leaves early

Funny story: Office Christmas party goes downhill fast after hot girl in accounts leaves early

Employees at McLellans Systems Ltd reported a dive in morale at this years Christmas party when the company's "hot girl in accounts" left at 7.30pm. "Before then the party was in full swing and many of the guys in the company were happy and chatt...

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Pothead gets off couch, applies for job

Earlier this week, a Cleveland, OH pothead finally got up from his parent's couch, went out, and applied for a job. This according to the pothead's parents, who requested to remain anonymous due to embarrassment over having a pothead as a son.

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Salacious Seeking Supervisor

Mark Dooley, newest employee at Jackson and Blythe Insurance, has filed a sexual harassment complaint with head office. "I'm a pretty shy guy at first," Dooley explained. "During my second week on the job, my supervisor Karen Dickinson started ch...

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Women Get Advice On Fox On How To Succeed

Funny story: Women Get Advice On Fox On How To Succeed

A Fox & Friends segment on Monday warned women looking to succeed in business "not to raise their voices" and not to talk too much. Fox News host Steve Doocy introduced Sylvia Ann Hewlett, author of "Executive Presence." She suggested that w...

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Hollywood Announces Hiring Ban!

Funny story: Hollywood Announces Hiring Ban!

Hollywood Mayor announced today that Hollywood movie makers and all those who work for them have job security but that they are hired up for the next five years. "The good news is that the stars we have and the production staffers, writers are ple...

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Mid-Management Recruitment

Funny story: Mid-Management Recruitment

Jamie Paxon walked into the convenience store as he had done many times before. Same old, same old. . .Right up to the coolers. . .Grab a twelve pack. . .Hand the sales girl the money. . .Get the change. . . Out the door and down the street . . . To where, who knows. Except this time, near the coolers stood a winged dark creature, obviously supernatural and of the -nth power, beautiful in nefa...

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Time for a National Conversation

My fellow Americans, today we face another round of criticism from our adversaries. They have accused our administration of being "feckless" in the face of the 21st Century and its many challenges. Rather than go on the defensive and merely answer to a strict definition of the term, we will respond positively and comprehensively, just as we did when we overcame last year's charges that we we...

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Working at Home Saves Firms Money

Funny story: Working at Home Saves Firms Money

More companies are encouraging employees to work at home because of the incredible cost savings. Even Yahoo is rethinking their 2013 demand for employees to work in the offices. This change has come about after companies began reviewing the costs...

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