A librarian from Slough has beaten all known employment records by turning up for work every day for 74 years. Doris Shelving, 89, has not missed a single day, including weekends, and has broken all known previous records. She began her longstandi…
Proctologist Dr Stephen Thursday was this week fired from his job at Birmingham clinic Rumps-R-Us due to an extensive record of gross incompetence. Dr Thursday’s mistakes have made him the butt of his colleagues’ jokes for years, but he now finds…
That company in the high street, you know the one that has a new receptionist every fortnight, and which is always changing the names on the door has written on a job's website that it respects its employees. The receptionist before the one before…
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz reports that one of the biggest fast food corporations is having trouble hiring (and keeping) employees. Agatha Agave, a spokeswoman for the fast food giant, told Sonora Cahoots, with BuzzFuzz that young people j…
Pleading against a charge of wrongful dismissal, national distribution centre boss, Niall Nash claimed he suffered an unavoidable allergic reaction to the plaintiff, Mr ‘Stumpy’ Foot. “After the accident he wouldn’t even look at me,” complained Mr F…
For the past six months, the government have attempted to walk a narrow road between keeping people safe, and ensuring that the economy is protected. Today, Boris Johnson announced a major shift in the use of SatNavs in vehicles, and has linked it…
While many working Americans complain that their jobs are boring or stressful, a newly-posted position on job networking site Indud.web offers a unique combination of both boredom and stress. "It's a rare opportunity for people to really push them...
Dane County, Wisconsin. After writing a purely outstanding paper explaining the reasons why individuals with 'narcissistic personality disorder' often have troubled intimate relationships, 13-year-old Kyle Lane was warned by teachers, administrators...
Ineffectual companies always hire large numbers of incompetent employees. One of the oldest corporate lies is that people are the most important of assets. If that were true, companies wouldn't have to assess why their hiring practices fail at rec...
Partners at internationally acclaimed mergers and acquisitions firm Shrinks, Globe & Greid, LLP, were chagrined when, as part of the firm's annual Employee Appreciation Week, an intern in their Manhattan office mistakenly distributed a company um...
After contract workers at a major New York City consulting firm discovered that the company was making hundreds of millions of dollars off their services while they themselves received no benefits and only a stingy and utterly static hourly wage, mos...
A middle-aged worker at a local company, who has suffered at the hands of his intimidating, brutal, and bullying employers for so long, has now had just about as much as he can possibly stand from them, and is close to telling them to go fuck themsel...
"So many people move here hoping to make it as a professional singer or songwriter and end up becoming disheartened when they never hit the big-time," said career counselor Pam Hardy of Nashville, Tennessee. "But I think we need to change our definit...
Cleveland, Ohio. After being born and raised in the trenches of Dane County, Wisconsin, to lower middle class parents, and surviving numerous fraternity parties filled with booze and wild orgies at UW-Madison, Dwain Kurt, 40, was reported as "doing...
A local man who claims he can't stand doing his current job any longer, has taken the extraordinary step of applying for a shelf-stacking position at Wegman's. The man, who is currently involved in 'imparting knowledge', says he cannot put up with...
St. Paul, Minnesota. The corporate staff at Pete's National Decking Products, a factory that produces household furniture items and outdoor decking material, executed one of their employees last Monday at 12:30 pm. Thomas Waters, 42, was allo...
Minnesota. Lisa Degner, 32, reached her '10 Year Work Anniversary' as an officer at the Olsen Correctional Facility last Monday. Lisa, who is well-known by her fellow correctional officers for being manipulative, bossy, incompetent, cruel, and...
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