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Funny story: 7th Grade Essay Contest Winner Informed He Will Eventually Need To Find 'A Real Job' Despite His Natural Ability

7th Grade Essay Contest Winner Informed He Will Eventually Need To Find 'A Real Job' Despite His Natural Ability

Dane County, Wisconsin. After writing a purely outstanding paper explaining the reasons why individuals with 'narcissistic personality disorder' often have troubled intimate relationships, 13-year-old Kyle Lane was warned by teachers, administrators...

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Funny story: The Secrets of Companies that are Great at Firing

The Secrets of Companies that are Great at Firing

Ineffectual companies always hire large numbers of incompetent employees. One of the oldest corporate lies is that people are the most important of assets. If that were true, companies wouldn't have to assess why their hiring practices fail at rec...

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Funny story: Law Firm Mistakenly Gives Company Umbrella to Non-Employee Cleaning Woman

Law Firm Mistakenly Gives Company Umbrella to Non-Employee Cleaning Woman

Partners at internationally acclaimed mergers and acquisitions firm Shrinks, Globe & Greid, LLP, were chagrined when, as part of the firm's annual Employee Appreciation Week, an intern in their Manhattan office mistakenly distributed a company um...

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Funny story: Underpaid Workers Happy to Help Capitalism Thrive

Underpaid Workers Happy to Help Capitalism Thrive

After contract workers at a major New York City consulting firm discovered that the company was making hundreds of millions of dollars off their services while they themselves received no benefits and only a stingy and utterly static hourly wage, mos...

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Funny story: Worker Pissed Off With Bosses Is On The Verge Of Telling Them To Go Fuck Themselves

Worker Pissed Off With Bosses Is On The Verge Of Telling Them To Go Fuck Themselves

A middle-aged worker at a local company, who has suffered at the hands of his intimidating, brutal, and bullying employers for so long, has now had just about as much as he can possibly stand from them, and is close to telling them to go fuck themsel...

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Funny story: Former Punk Rocker Achieves True Success by Going to Work for Healthcare Company

Former Punk Rocker Achieves True Success by Going to Work for Healthcare Company

"So many people move here hoping to make it as a professional singer or songwriter and end up becoming disheartened when they never hit the big-time," said career counselor Pam Hardy of Nashville, Tennessee. "But I think we need to change our definit...

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Funny story: Corporate Adviser Doing Well In Life Despite Lower Middle Class Upbringing

Corporate Adviser Doing Well In Life Despite Lower Middle Class Upbringing

Cleveland, Ohio. After being born and raised in the trenches of Dane County, Wisconsin, to lower middle class parents, and surviving numerous fraternity parties filled with booze and wild orgies at UW-Madison, Dwain Kurt, 40, was reported as "doing...

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Funny story: Man Applies For Job, Stacking Shelves At Wegman's

Man Applies For Job, Stacking Shelves At Wegman's

A local man who claims he can't stand doing his current job any longer, has taken the extraordinary step of applying for a shelf-stacking position at Wegman's. The man, who is currently involved in 'imparting knowledge', says he cannot put up with...

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Funny story: Local Employee Decapitated For Having Too Many Unexcused Absences

Local Employee Decapitated For Having Too Many Unexcused Absences

St. Paul, Minnesota. The corporate staff at Pete's National Decking Products, a factory that produces household furniture items and outdoor decking material, executed one of their employees last Monday at 12:30 pm. Thomas Waters, 42, was allo...

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Funny story: Insecure, Manipulative, Vicious, Bossy, Emotionally-Unstable Correctional Officer Reaches '10 Year Work Anniversary'

Insecure, Manipulative, Vicious, Bossy, Emotionally-Unstable Correctional Officer Reaches '10 Year Work Anniversary'

Minnesota. Lisa Degner, 32, reached her '10 Year Work Anniversary' as an officer at the Olsen Correctional Facility last Monday. Lisa, who is well-known by her fellow correctional officers for being manipulative, bossy, incompetent, cruel, and...

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Funny story: Head-widening procedures increasing among youth, experts concerned

Head-widening procedures increasing among youth, experts concerned

US experts are concerned about a steady rise in cosmetic procedures to widen the head and enlarge the eyes in mostly teen and preteen girls. Jennifer Smith is 12 years old, and she has been begging her parents for the last two years to get the upp...

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Funny story: Pete's Wood Awards Mr. Hymen Clit 'Employee of the Month' For January

Pete's Wood Awards Mr. Hymen Clit 'Employee of the Month' For January

Portage County, Wisconsin. Pete's Wood, a lumber furniture factory that utilizes only the biggest and hardest wood in order to produce household furniture and outdoor composite decking boards, took a special moment last week to shine the employee sp...

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Funny story: US Homeland Security Border Patrol Guards Needed

US Homeland Security Border Patrol Guards Needed

It is the responsibility of the US Department of Homeland Security to uphold US Immigration policy, and to provide trained personnel to undertake that task. With this in mind, US Homeland Security Services would like to announce the need for addit...

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Funny story: Needed Immediately: Jamal Khashoggi Lookalike

Needed Immediately: Jamal Khashoggi Lookalike

We are in urgent need of an Arabic man who has the look and build of the murdered and dissolved Saudi Arabian dissident journalist, Jamal Khashoggi, for immediate work. You should, at least partly, resemble Mr Khashoggi with regard to height and weight. Having a similar face to Mr Khashoggi would be a bonus. Spectacles are desirable, but can be provided. The work requires no experience, alth...

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Funny story: Petty Criminal? Bearing a Grudge? No Luck With the Ladies? Loser? Why Not Join Isis?

Petty Criminal? Bearing a Grudge? No Luck With the Ladies? Loser? Why Not Join Isis?

Paid content on behalf of Isis Recruitment Services, bomb crater, Syrian Desert. We know how you feel. You've done time in prison for shoplifting or burglary. You hate your job stacking shelves in Lidl or counting chicken nuggets. You've been thrown out of college for failing your accountancy exam. You're an incel, girls don't want to know you and Pornhub is your only outlet. You spend too much...

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Funny story: Bernie Sanders Proposes Maximum Wage of $16 Per Hour

Bernie Sanders Proposes Maximum Wage of $16 Per Hour

MONTPELIER, VT - Today, Democrat Presidential candidate, Senator Bernie Sanders proposed a maximum wage of $16 per hour. In addition, Senator Sanders supports a minimum wage of $15 per hour. "Establishing a maximum wage of $16 and raising the m...

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Funny story: Job Applicant Sets Himself Apart with Thank You Note

Job Applicant Sets Himself Apart with Thank You Note

ELKHART, IN--Saying that he had never before seen such passion and originality in an applicant, Marshall & Inmark hiring manager Karl Sayers told reporters Thursday that 24-year-old Peter Heintzelman had "all but clinched" the marketing assistant...

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