Tijuana, Mexico - Juan Valdez, of the Shinola drug cartel here, called a press conference today to thank the DEA for removing several pounds of hundred-dollar bills from his colon.
I was s-o-o-o-o constipated! I’d run out of room to store all the cash, so I stuffed my body cavities with cash. Then it all got stuck!
Thanks to the friendly guys at the DEA, I’m a new man.
They supplied all the prunes, mineral oil, suppositories, enema bags and more.
That fire hose was a nice touch.
They even got me a real job, some mining operation I think. They mentioned something about a rock pile.