Joe Biden’s Teeth Look Fine, But His Gums Have To Come Out
BILLINGSGATE POST: Nothing - and I mean nothing - is worse news than hearing your dentist say, “Your teeth look fine, but your gums have to come out,” after viewing your X-Rays. WTF!! Hey! Maybe the next time you stuff your pie hole with sugar…
Read full storyJerry Seinfeld Is Hit With A Huge Fine For Using The Boring Phrase Yada, Yada, Yada, Way Too Many Fucking Times
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - LaLaLand Daily has just pointed out that the has been comedian Jerry Seinfeld, has just been fined $75,000 by the FBI for using the hackneyed, boring, tedious, and monotonous term "Yada, Yada, Yada" way too many fucking ti…
Read full storyHarry & Meghan Breathe Sigh Of Relief Over UK Fruit & Veg Shortage
A shortage of some fruits and vegetables in the United Kingdom that has prompted rationing at most major supermarkets that could last until May, has left Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle breathing a sigh of relief. With tomatoes, and cabbag…
Read full storyLittle Caesars Pizza Discontinues Their Seahorse Pizza
DETROIT - (Fast Food Satire) - Little Caesars Inc. has just made it known that due to popular demand, they will be discontinuing their Seahorse Pizza. Company spokesperson Luigi Guido Bambalini, 59, said that patrons just did not like the idea of…
Read full storyComputer Says No
My computer asked me the other day if I was human. And then it gave me a test for me to prove myself human. I took a pen and a piece of paper and scribbled a test for the computer for it to prove to me that it was a computer. It refused to take…
Read full storyMcDonalds Is Adding a Smoking Room To Every One of Their Restaurants
CHICAGO, Illinois - (Satire News) - McDonalds makes it a point to always listen to its customers, and many of them have asked that Mickey D's please add a smoking room to their restaurants One smoker Ezra "Smokey" Hopquist from Alligator Nuts, Flo…
Read full storyEnforced Illiteracy Will Make You Happy, Brainless Fools!
(Remove that comma above, and read the truth!) Happy people are not good for the economy. When you’re miserable, you drink too much, eat too much, and go on shopping trips buying crap that will sit in the “stuff drawer” forever, or until the next…
Read full storyBad Sign Language Could Lead to Short-Lived Illuminati Stardom
Michelle Yeoh and Jamie Lee Curtis won big at SAG awards, but their masters are not pleased! In the above photo, we can see Yeoh and Curtis trying to give each other the Illuminati hand sign, acknowledging their true lords and masters who make cel…
Read full storyCustomer Lines At The New Whataburger In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico Stretch For Four Blocks
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - (Food Satire) - Mexico's El Ole News Agency has just informed the public that the newest Whataburger Restaurant in Mexico, is doing record-breaking business. The Orange W eatery is selling out a new food item that Whatabur…
Read full storyA Well-Known Comedian Says "Haters" Hate Because They're Bitter, Non-Creative, Jealous Pieces of Shit
NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana - (Satire News) - One of the nation's funniest and most clever comedians recently said that the reason why "Haters" hate is simply because they are bitter, non-creative, jealous pieces of shit. Zydeco Dupree, who has been co…
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