Hollywood Is Courting Aaron Rodgers To Be The Next James Bond
HOLLYWOOD - (Sports Satire) - Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is thrilled that Tinsel Town is looking at him to replace Daniel Craig, as the new James Bond, agent 007. Rodgers, the ex-boyfriend of NASCAR sweetheart Danica Patrick, say…
Read full storyMan wants Laptop like they have in the films
Man about town Gavin Williamson (not that one) has said that he would like a new laptop, like the ones they have in the films. 'Yes' said Gavin, writing on his blog 'I would like one of those laptops like they always have in the films. One that is…
Read full storyThe Nation's Only Transgender Thoroughbred Race Horse Wins Again
DENVER - (Sports Satire) - Bob Baffert's latest thoroughbred is now 2-0, after winning the coveted Rocky Mountain Ultra High Derby in Denver by 17¼ lengths. The amazing horse is the only transgender race horse in existence. Baffert, who is the wor…
Read full storyDrunk Man talking to Stop Sign
There was excitement in Mithering on the Trent this evening, when Snotty Bob Gravy was so drunk that he mistook a stop sign for his old mate Andrew. ‘Bob Gravy is the town’s well-known lightweight, able to appear drunk after a pint of lager, so he…
Read full storyPrimark Bouncer Wonders where it all went wrong
Spending all day outside a Primark, security guard Barry Waldhorn is wondering where his life went wrong. ‘I just thought that as a bloke in my forties, I might have had more to show for it than this’ bewailed Barry through his moustache. ‘I di…
Read full storyAaron Rodgers Says He Has Agreed To Pay Danica Patrick To Stop Texting Him
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - (Sports Satire) - According to Sports Territory Magazine, Aaron Rodgers is as happy as a wolf at a sheep convention. The Green Bay QB, told STM's Tango Brisket, that after months and months of pleading with his ex-girlfriend…
Read full storyThe Worst Team In The NBA Is Going To Change Their Name
DETROIT - (Sports Satire) - Sportsapalooza News is reporting that the worst team in the entire 30-team NBA will be changing their name very, very soon. SN reporter Pia Confetti spoke with the owner of the Detroit Pistons, Tom Gores, who said that…
Read full storyWill Smith Is Being Forced To Take Anger Management Classes
LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - VP Kamala Harris has just informed the most hated black man in America, (aka Will the Shitass) that the US government is mandating that he enter into an anger management program. The vice-president told Tabloid Today'…
Read full storyThe Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences Votes To Fine and Expel Will Smith
LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - The Academy of Motion Pictures has voted to fine and expel Will Smith for his pitiful display of privileged bullshit antics. Will punched comedian Chris Rock on his face after Rock said that Mr. Jada Pinkett Smith's w…
Read full storyWill Smith Finally Admits That He Assaulted Chris Rock Because of An Over Abundance of The Female Hormone (Estrolooza)
BEVERLY HILLS, California - (Satire News) - Will Smith is catching hell from millions of people after his bully bitch antics at the Oscars. Smith, who has just surpassed Hitler, Trump, and (Greg) Gutfeld as the most hated person in the world, says…
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