A Obese Woman From Seattle Swallows 119 Diet Pills and Loses 16 Pounds In 45 Minutes
SEATTLE - (Satire News) - All of her life, Dora Flora Hogwood, has battled fatness. When she was born she was so huge, that her mom's screams could be heard four blocks from the hospital's delivery room. At birth, little Dora tipped the scales at…
Read full storyAmy Schumer and Wanda Sykes Said They Came Real Close To Jumping Will Smith Backstage At The Oscars And Beating The Shit Out of Him!
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - According to BuzzFuzz, the night of the Oscars, after Will "The Human Douche Bag" ambushed Chris Rock, Amy Schumer said that she and co-host Wanda Sykes talked about confronting Will Smith and beating the fucking daylights…
Read full storyTrump Admits That His Health Issues Will Prevent Him From Running In 2024
MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - The man who once said he would be president in 2024 has now changed his tune, as they say in the music world. Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, recently told GOPicky Magazine reporter Tabitha Tula Wishywater, that his doc…
Read full storyCatch A Whiff of Putin!
Trying to better his image in the West, Vladimir Putin has released his personal line of men’s cologne. It’s motto: “Spray it on – you die.” A scientist who worked on the cologne recipe, and who refuse to be named, fearing for his life, gave…
Read full storyHair Today Gone Tomorrow
Just as the U.S.A. acquired it own Guy Fawkes in Donald Trump, now Great Britain has its very own Richard Nixon in Boris Johnson! Boris Johnson will be serving a long time behind bars for his part in Partygate, but as an unexpected twist, his hai…
Read full storyDonald’s Donkey Balls
Along with his many products still-to-come, Donald Trump has released his brand of large chocolate balls of dough, called Donkey Balls. A Trump product spokesman said: “The former president – I mean, president-to-come – loves his Donkey Balls. He…
Read full storyMcDonald's New Guacamole McMuffin Is Selling Like Hot Cakes
CHICAGO - (Business Satire) - The McDonalds Corporation has just announced that their latest menu item is having great success all over the world. A spokeswoman for Mickey D's, Wanda Sue Simon, who recently divorced her husband of 29 years, stated…
Read full storyUK asylum seekers to be sent to the Moon for processing
Under a new agreement with NASA, any asylum seekers crossing the English Channel will be detained on the Moon at an estimated cost of £10 million per person. The new rules apply to anyone arriving by sea - whether in a dinghy, a P&O Ferry or t…
Read full storyTwo Ukrainian Fighter Jets Sink The Pride of The Russian Navy, The RS Mikhail Baryshnikov
ON THE HIGH SEAS - (World News) - The Ukraine News Agency (UNA) reports that the pride of Putin's navy, The RS Mikhail Baryshnikov, has been sunk. The powerful warship, was sunk when it was hit by a total of 13 missiles fired from two Ukrainian fi…
Read full storyDisney Agrees To Drop Their Don't Say Gay Rule - But Replaces It With a Worse One
TAMPA BAY, Florida - (Satire News) - The powers-that-be at Disney have given in and announced that they are dropping their "Don't Say Gay," rule. A spokesperson for Disney, Teodore P. Pillsack, 38, who admits to being gay, stated that the amusemen…
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