Navy Pilots Report Alien YoYo Spacecraft “Walking The Dog” Over Florida
BILLINGSGATE POST: “SKUNK ALPHA! SKUNK ALPHA!” screamed Navy Ensign Detrick “Dirty Trick” Detwiler. Meanwhile, Lieutenant Slim Everdingle, who was driving the two-seater F-15E Strike Fighter on a routine training mission out of Naval Air Station...
Read full storyNashville Man Becomes a Stoic
In the grand tradition of Roman emperor/philosopher Marcus Aurelius, Ben Foley of Nashville, Tennessee, decided to become a Stoic. "I dig it," said Foley of his new way of life. "It's chill. Steady, as my man Marcus liked to say." Foley explain...
Read full storyAmazingly Mesmerizing Memes
Memes can make a mediocre memo mesmerizing. The mere mentioning of the mensches in a meme can motivate mental memories of magnificent majesty and motivate mockery of a magnificent magnitude. Memes can magnify malignant satire to a soaring scale that...
Read full story"White House Asked US Navy to Hide Warship or Better Still - Sink It"
Unnamed sources have claimed that the White House asked for a warship named after "President" Donald Trump's late rival, Senator John McCain, to be obscured during the president's trip to Japan. Following the reports, the Navy Chief of Information...
Read full storyMinestrone fad still spreading
To most adults, minestrone is a vomit-textured soup available in a packet from all cheap supermarkets. But to youngsters and hipsters, it is the latest craze in gaming. Minestrone is the world's most popular video game on mobile phones. The aim of...
Read full storyDonald Trump Cleared Of All Wrongdoing By Donald Trump
President Donald Trump has been exonerated from having acted against the US Constitution, from having colluded with any foreign powers with the intention of 'swinging' an election, from wasting Congress' time and taxpayers' money over proposals for a...
Read full storyCheese Discovered On Mouse's Whiskers
Animal lovers were celebrating this morning after scientists in an animal testing laboratory in Buckinghamshire revealed that they had found cheese on the whiskers of a mouse. Dr Andrew Glockenspiel, who works at the laboratory in Chesham, near Ay...
Read full storyChina To Repair Ozone Layer With Steamed Minced Pork Buns
The disturbing news this week that dangerous chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) traceable to China are directly responsible for damage to the ozone layer, has met with a swift response from the Chinese authorities - they are to repair the damage with steamed...
Read full storyDonald Trump To Make D-Day Guest Appearance On BBC Question Time
President Donald Trump has extended his planned three-day state visit to the UK after receiving a surprise invitation to make a guest appearance on the BBC's popular political forum, Question Time, on Thursday, 6 June. The show will be broadcast l...
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