Ms. Amerika Contestant Takes a Stand for Right to Take a Knee
T&A City, Nude Joisey--Ms. Virginia advanced in the Ms. Amerika Contest after her politically correct, although sexist, response to the National Foosball League (NFL) controversy concerning players who “take a knee” during the playing of the US n...
Read full storySenator Who Identifies with 25th Amendment, Native Americans, LGBTQ, and Nanny Pelosi, Says President Is "Loony"
WASH, AC/DC—Senator Eliza Beth War On wants to invoke the US Constitution's 25th Amendment, which allows Congress to remove the president if he (or she—not that there's ever been a “she” in the office, unless either Eleanor Roosevelt or Barack Obama...
Read full storyRussia Identifies Novichok Suspects as "Gay Fanboys"
In the face of international condemnation, despite the opposition of useful idiot US President Donald Trump, the Russian government made a surprise admission today when it identified the two suspects in the Salisbury Novichok attack. The UK had na...
Read full storyFootball Gossip. September 2018
Manchester United has denied that its fans created a crowd funding campaign to get manager Jose Mourinho jailed in Spain for tax fraud. United's executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward admitted that he had paid personally for an appeal to increase the so...
Read full storyWhere are they now? The Sinclair C5
Ah, a tragic case of surrounding yourself with lickspittles and yes men. Maybe a bit of market research might have been useful but I can just imagine his management team: "Oh, yes, Sir Clive, it's a fantastic idea, one of your best. It will be a magnificent success," before sniggering outside the office while on a fag break. Sir Clive Sinclair became one of the UK's best-known businessmen...
Read full storyBozo Johnson to Get Divorced After Stormy Daniels Affair
Failed ex-foreign secretary Bozo Johnson and his wife Marina Wheeler have confirmed they have separated after newspaper allegations of Mr Johnson having had another extra-marital affair, this time with American porn star Stormy Daniels. In a joint...
Read full storyMan Was Upset When Student Guessed His Age As "60"
A teacher in the Thai capital city of Bangkok was "crushed" when a student in his classroom guessed his age as 60, chuckling as he did. Moys Kenwood, 55, was asked his age by one of his more enthusiastic students, but he wasn't about to give the g...
Read full storyVampires Confirm White Blood Purest Blood
In an earth-shattering report, a study released earlier today by the VRI -- now known as the Vampire Research Institute -- concluded that the blood of caucasians is widely considered by the vampiric community to be the most “pure” and desired blood o...
Read full storyWhat Would Trump Do?
How well do you think you know the Chief Executive, the POTUS, the Leader of the Free World? Take this quiz and find out if you can predict how the President will handle a situation. Anwers at the bottom. 1. A new federal project is opening in Arizona and Trump wants to name it. What name would Trump most likely pick? A. John McCain, Arizona Senator and War Hero B. Barry Goldwater, Old-line...
Read full storyThe Hunt for "Deep Thought"
This morning before dawn, the doorbell at my home chimed. When I stumbled to the door, no one was there, but an envelope was laying against my door. I took it into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee before opening it, but curiosity reigned supreme. Inside I found the document inserted below on White House letterhead stationery, emblazoned with a watermark spelling out “CONFIDENTIAL” obliquely...
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