King Donald Tweets Executive Orders to the Tides
Once upon a time, King Donald of America built a Tower of Nationalism on the sandy shore of Florida and ordered the Tide of Transnationalism not to wash flotsam and jetsam onto the base of his Tower. "I am the most powerful king in the world, and even the tide must obey me." The sea seemed to obey - the tide was actually retreating when he issued his executive order - and King Donald thought the...
Read full storyVaping Soon To Be A Thing Of The Past
Vaping - the practice of 'electronic smoking' - is shortly to be a 'thing of the past', according to researchers at a company in Dublin. Electronic vapers are viewed by many people as disgusting devices through which 'flavored vapor' is sucked int...
Read full storyTrump gives thanks to himself plus explains MBS as victim of vicious world
As the race to the 2020 election begins, Mr. Trump finds himself high in the saddle of world politics, and his own opinion of himself. Yesterday at Thanksgiving in America, Mr. Trump indicated his gratitude to himself for his personal glory. “L...
Read full storyBautista bugged by namesake
It seems safe (at first) to assume that entomologist Boob Anders is not a Jose Bautista fan. The scientist, who works for the Canadian Museum Au Naturel, gave the former Toronto Blue Jays star a dubious honor, the “distinction” of naming a bug after...
Read full storyDoctor Who "I Still Use Men's Toilets"
"I just keep forgetting that I don't have a todger any more," said a despondent Doctor, "and, to be frank, I rather miss my old trouser snake." The new Doctor opened up to our Entertainment Editor, Paxton Quigley, in an exclusive interview. "It...
Read full storyDonald Trump blames “the world” for the murder of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi
US President Donald Trump declared that “the world” was to blame for the murder of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi. Mr Khashoggi died in Turkey on 2 October 2018. It was widely believed that he was killed by agents of Saudi Arabia’s crown prince...
Read full storyDarts Farts Crackdown
The air turned nasty last week when Scottish darts double world champion Gary Anderson and Dutch opponent Wesley Harms both denied responsibility for creating "rotten egg smells" on the oche. Following his defeat by Anderson 10-2 at the Grand Slam...
Read full storyGary Lineker Suffering From Crippling Constipation
Footballers and TV presenters are only human, and former Tottenham Hotspur and England striker Gary Lineker is all three, but it will come as a surprise to many people to hear that the 'Match of the Day' host is having 'toilet troubles', or so it loo...
Read full storyPresident Trump Concludes On 'Concluding'
US President, Donald Trump, has told anyone still not fed up of listening, that he is not yet satisfied with the impression the public have of him, and will continue doing his utmost until his position has become completely untenable, and he is locke...
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