John Leslie Marries Kit Harrington
Disgraced TV presenter John Leslie raced from court today in a morning suit, giving the finger to waiting reporters and vultures alike as he jumped into a waiting taxi. With minutes to spare he arrived at an Aberdeen Castle to greet members of the...
Read full storyWarwick Davies to replace Peter Dinklage In Game of Thrones
Hugely popular little person Warwick Davies who has starred in Willow and Countdown during his glittering career has revealed that he will be taking over from Peter Dinkylage in Game of Thrones for the final season. Warwick has announced that whil...
Read full storyBear Grylls and Warwick Davies Lake District Programme Too Funny
Warwick Davies has confessed that he absolutely loves the Lake District and was delighted to have the chance to enjoy it with adventurer Bear Grylls. Bear Grylls, however, took a different view. "Not that bl**dy dwarf", he is rumoured to have said...
Read full storyTic-Tac-Toe Game Peters Out Into Tame Draw
There was a rollercoaster of emotions in Tapon last night, as a game of noughts and crosses that had started amidst great excitement and expectation finally petered out into a tame stalemate. The participants were Helley and Yasmi, stepdaughters o...
Read full storyDia veintecinco! Nutters Beach Club has a 'Bad Hair Day!'
Flies in our soup, Never! However, after several hairy footy stars visited the club last night, we have a dreadfully 'bad hair-day' to deal with! Neymar, ordered spaghetti and, during a binging orgy of wildest Brazilian, half-naked babes stripping and swinging, fronted by our own, Volga Olga, he tipped a plate of the stuff on his head, and King Cantona followed! Sadly, Neymar, had to play, a...
Read full storyMan Liked Ostrich-skin Shoes, But Was Conscious Of How 'Wrong' They Were
A man has told how a pair of shoes he saw for sale in a Bangkok shop window immediately grabbed his attention, but at the very same time, pricked his conscience when he thought about the material from which they had been made. Moys Kenwood, 50, wa...
Read full storyProfessional Man Poops in His Pants at Work
Our emergency news reporting team rushed to the home of Mr. Robert Semen, a mechanical engineer at a local factory, last Tuesday, only to find out that he left work early because he pooped in his pants. "I started feeling ill around 11:30 am, and...
Read full storyMeet Google's discontinued nineties AI project Big Brain Brad
Many have heard of DeepMind, the British artificial intelligence company Google acquired in 2014. The DeepMind technology made headlines when after only a few hours of exposure to the ancient chinese board game Go, it not only learned to play the ga...
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